


In This Moment

by crazedcurls



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Bondage, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:31:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazedcurls/pseuds/crazedcurls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was violated, humiliated, and then, when I thought it was over, that he was captured; they made me come with them. Because of that, I may never be free again.</p><p>Avengers Fic, some modifications, and the story changes</p><p>Dark story, don't like, don't read</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where it all started

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first fanfiction on this site, my first Loki fanfiction too. Let me know what you think! If it sucks I don't think I'll bother.

                 Germany had always been one of my favorite places to visit.

                 My father was a professor who was often called to different conferences to lecture. Usually he brought along one of his girlfriends, but since he was at that "in between" stage, he actually asked me to come along. This time we were actually invited to a black tie event at a museum.

                Since I didn’t go to school I never experienced anything like Prom or dances so besides my cousin’s batmitzfah I had never been to a black tie event. I was psyched to finally wear the gorgeous emerald dress my father and I had gotten long ago.

                We stepped out of the car, my father graciously extending his hand towards me to take. I smiled at him, grinning foolishly, and allowed him to help me out of the vehicle.

                “You ready?” He asked me, looping his arm through mine. I stifled an unlady like snort and nodded.

                “Giselle made me promise to call her before I entered though.” I reminded him, removing myself from him. He frowned.

                “So I have to enter by myself? Now I can’t be there to take credit for your dress when you get complimented on it.” He pouted. I laughed and playfully shoved him towards the museum.

                “I’ll be in a couple of minutes, suck it up.” I told him. He stuck his tongue out, but walked away anyway. I smiled at his retreating form and then got my phone from my purse. The sidewalk was filled with chattering people, so I decided to go into the nearby alley way to make the private call. Also I hated having to ask people to repeat themselves and if I couldn’t hear her, I would have no other choice.

                I had to lift up my dress to keep it from dragging on the dirty pavement. The alley way was dark, but luckily deserted. I had had my fair share of encounters with homeless people, but my German wasn’t exactly fluent and I didn’t want to say something rude on accident.

                My father didn’t believe in cell phones, so I had to pay for mine myself, which meant I had the _worst_ cell phone of all time.  I flipped it open and it’s light brightened the dark alley. But it also caused someone attempting to slip through the back door to notice me.

                All of a sudden my phone was ripped from my grasp and I was shoved into the wall of the museum, a hand on my throat and a weird staff thing aimed at my chest.

                It was a man. He had dark hair that went almost to his chin and green eyes. He had a wild look upon his face. I gulped as he started questioning me in German. I shook my head, trying to convey I didn’t understand until finally he switched to English.

                “Who are you and what are you doing back here?”

               

                He had a weird accent, almost British, but not. I trembled under his sharp gaze, “I just needed to make a phone call.” I felt my heart go into my throat, I felt like crying. Was he a murderer? I was about to die.

                His eyebrows rose at ‘phone call’ but his grip loosened on my throat, and then he took in my attire and his eyebrows rose higher. This time he pushed himself closer, his hand still on my throat, but the staff thing had disappeared and his other hand started running through my hair. I whimpered and tried to fight his grasp, but he pushed me further in the wall and started shushing me, lips close to my cheek.

                “Shh, shh little kitten.” He whispered, I gagged from fear and struggled, coming close to hysteria. “Such lovely, curly hair my darling. If only we had a bit longer,” He leaned in closer, “Long hair is the easiest to pull back while fucking.” I let out a sob, he growled, grinding his hips against mine, shoving my backside against the wall. I whimpered as he breathed, “How did you know my favorite color was green?” I didn’t have a chance to respond. His fingers that were holding my head back started to pull my dress up, bunching it around my waist. I sobbed into the side of his face and he lifted his hand from my neck and put it over my mouth.

                Then I started screaming.

                But it did nothing.

                All that was going through my head was, _this can’t be happening. Not to me, this isn’t real. Wake up. **WAKE UP.**_ But I didn’t wake up, and his fingers pushed themselves into my panties and pulled them down.

                I tried fighting him, pushing him away, kicking, biting, screaming, but nothing worked. If anything, it made him _stronger_. I heard his trousers unzip and I squeezed my tear filled eyes shut, and then he plunged into me.

                My world was being ripped apart as my hymen was broken, I shrieked into his hand and then went limp but he continued. He lifted up my leg to get himself better access and all I could do was feel it in a light daze. All I could hear was the disgusting sound of our hips coming together and his slight groans. I wanted to fight, I wanted to go away.

                Finally he finished, emptying himself inside of me and then he released me, I was _bleeding._ He lifted my chin before I could collapse onto the ground and pushed his pink lips to mine. I could taste my tears on his lips. Then he pulled away and whispered, “See you in the museum, kitten.” And then he was gone.

                I fell to the ground, I laid there, my cheek pressed to the asphalt for a long time, until I finally looked down and saw blood running down my leg.

               

                I calmly, stoically grabbed my bag and pulled out the tissues I kept in there and cleaned myself up, pulled up my panties, smoothed out my dress which had somehow not ripped and commanded my jelly legs to bring me back to the museum.

                The party had already started, I began towards the champagne and downed an entire glass. Then I grabbed another and downed it as well. A woman standing nearby looked at me incredulously but I made a face at her and started towards where my father would be.

                As I predicted he was standing near the curator of the museum, chatting animatedly in German. I pulled out my hand mirror and checked my appearance one more time, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. I had fixed my make up in the alley, and then walked to my father and looped my arm through his. I had no idea what to do, I certainly didn't want to show up to the party looking ragged and dirty. In a few minutes I would whisper something to my father, and we would leave, maybe go to the hospital? To the police? I had no idea. I just didn't want to make a spectacle of myself before the party even really started.

               “Ah, and so she appears. This is my daughter, Marissa. It’s about time you stopped chatting with your friends, he’s about to give his speech.” I smiled at the curator, forgetting his name almost instantly,

               “Oh I’m sorry, you know how us teens are, can’t seem to stop talking.” He smiled, a woman with champagne flutes passed and I grabbed a glass and took another gulp, looking away while they started talking again.  
               

               Finally the curator stepped away and started towards the podium, his speech was in German so I could only take out bits and pieces. I tipped the glass back and downed the rest of it, looking over my shoulder nervously.

               Just in time to see my monster hitting one of the guards in the face with his staff. I froze to the spot as he grabbed the curator and…

               I felt like fainting, but I couldn’t rip my gaze from him even when everyone started  running,  my father had long since taken off, leaving me in the dust. The man let go of the curator and started towards the door, and then he saw me. And he smiled. I was still frozen, I'm not sure I had even breathed since I had first saw him. 

               He stalked towards me and grabbed me, dragging me out the door with him. I couldn’t make a sound, only try to keep up with his long stride to avoid being dragged along on the ground. All at once he started to glow, people were screaming and all of a sudden he was wearing a weird helmet thing and armor. I looked up at him in horror.

               As we crossed the street a police car, wailing, came straight at us and I screamed, but the man simply aimed his staff (now a spear) at it and hit it.

               We entered the square and the man released me, shouting  “Kneel before me!” At the people, they ran away, but then copies of him appeared around the square, one of them behind me, grabbing me before I could run. His arms were around me, one on my middle and one on my chest, his lips were next to my ear and I shuddered in his arms. There were _more_ of him. I almost fainted again, almost.

               “I said, KNEEL!” The people slowly went down on their knees as the real man paced around them, smiling. “Is this not, simpler, is this not your natural state?” He smiled again, “It’s the unspoken truth of humanity. That you _crave_ subjugation, the bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy for a mad scramble for power.” He turned, so he was right in front of me and lifted his hand, tracing it down my cheek.  “For identity. You were _made_ to be ruled.” I flinched and he grinned wider, he enjoyed me squirming. He turned to the crowd again, “In the end, you will always kneel.”

               And then an old man stood up, chin raised, aimed at the man. “Not to men like you.” He said with a kind of strength I wished I had. I felt a rush of respect for the man, standing up to him like this. The man just smiled,

              “There are no men like me.” He countered, still grinning. The old man’s strong gaze didn’t waver,

              “There are _always_ men like you.” I smiled, and the man’s copy’s arms tightened around me. I wiped the smile from my face immediately.

              “Look to your elder people,” he raised his spear, “let him be an example.”

              I screamed, “NO!” Just as another man jumped in front of the old man, a shield raised. The blue orb bounced from the shield and hit the man straight in the chest causing him to fall and his copies to disappear.

              I fell to the ground as soon as I was released. I looked up from my place to see the man, dressed in red, white, and blue; striding towards the man. “The last time I was in Germany, I saw a man standing above everyone else.” He stopped right in front of the man’s fallen figure. People, one by one, were standing to look at this other strange man. “We ended up disagreeing.”

             The man pulled himself to his feet, “The soldier.” He spat, gathering himself up. “The man out of time.”

             “I’m not the one out of time.” He responded and a jet hovered in front of one of the buildings. “Loki put down the spear and stand down.” A voice commanded. My head swerved to the man. Loki? Was that his name?

             Loki didn’t respond, instead he suddenly raised his spear and shot at the jet, luckily it moved out of the way just in time. Loki spun and ran towards me, grabbing my elbow and bringing me with him out of the square. I clawed at his arm as people cleared out. He suddenly released me as the other man, the soldier hit him with his shield.

             They started to fight and I turned to run, but Loki grabbed me again and threw me to the ground just in time to get punched in the face by the soldier. I tried to pull myself up, I saw Loki put his staff on top of the soldier’s head. “Kneel.” He commanded.

             “Not today.” The soldier said  and kicked him in the face. I pulled myself to my feet and all of a sudden Loki was blasted backwards and a metal man, I knew him. _Iron Man_. He had everything that must be stored in that miraculous suit aimed right at Loki.

            “Make a move, reindeer games.” He said. Loki’s hands went in front of him, and his armor disappeared.

            “Good move.” 

 


	2. Yet I'm still here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just kind of a filler, sorry

“Mr. Stark.” The soldier greeted him, eyes locked on Loki.

“Captain.” He responded. Iron man grabbed Loki by the arms as the, the captain? Held out a hand to me.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” His bright blue eyes almost went through my soul. I suppressed a sigh and allowed him to help me up.

“Yes, yes I’m fine. I’m—“ the words caught in my throat, and I let out a sob. The captain looked uncomfortable, slowly he put a hand over my shoulder, and guided me towards their jet. The reality of the situation hit me and I froze. “Wait, I can’t go in there.” I said, making eye contact with Loki, who grinned and winked at me. I gulped.

The captain squeezed my shoulder, “Don’t worry he can’t hurt you while we’re there.”

“No, no my father…” I looked over my shoulder, trying to find him. The streets were empty. Of course he ran and left me behind.

“Ma’am, we’re going to need to question you on your relationship with that man. I’m sorry, we can contact your father..” I looked up at him, of course they needed to question me.

I cursed Loki for dragging me into this in my mind and nodded.

Loki was strapped to a chair and I sat as far as humanly possible from him, near the captain and Iron man.

“Who’s the girl?” A woman sitting in the co pilot seat asked, the captain shrugged.

“Loki seemed to have an attachment to her.  I thought we could get more information from this _criminal_ if we had her.” He looked straight at Loki, seeming to be pleased by calling him a criminal. Loki didn’t look at him, he just blankly stared at the wall.

“I-I’m Marissa.” I said slowly, wiping my cheek with my hand.

“I’m Tony Stark.” Iron man said, taking off his helmet. I nodded,

“Yes I know who you are. My father thinks the world of you, did you really make a building that only uses clean energy?” I asked, Tony grinned.

“Yes, I did! I didn’t think too many people knew about it yet, Potts thinks we need to—“ The captain cut him off.

“I’m Steve Roge—“

“Captain America.” Tony finished for him, “everyone calls him Cap. You’ll see.” I gulped,

 

“Um, how long do I have to, to stay here?” I cast a wary glance in Loki’s direction. He was staring at me. My eyes widened and I looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

The captain sighed, “I don’t know, we’ll let you know when we get to headquarters.” I didn’t ask any more questions, and they didn’t talk to me. They started chatting about Loki until thunder rumbled and lightning flashed out the window. Loki flinched and sunk into his seat.

“What’s the matter, scared of a little lightning?” The captain asked, amused.

“I’m not overly fond of what follows.” All of a sudden the door opened and a man with blonde hair entered.

“What the hell—“ Tony started as the man grabbed Loki and jumped back out into the night sky.

Then both of them left, one after the other, and it was just me and the woman and the pilot. She looked back at me, and closed the back door to the jet.

“That was Thor.” She informed me. I nodded, confused.

“They’re basically gods?” I asked, she nodded, turning back to look at the dark sky in front of us.

“Loki and Thor are from a different planet, a different galaxy even. They’re from a planet called Asgard, which is completely different than Earth. Loki has magic I think and Thor uses that hammer thing, nobody but him can wield it. Thor caused up a bit of ruckus a couple of years ago, but it changed him for the better but Loki… Well he’s a bit imbalanced.” I swallowed, looking away.

“Yeah, a bit.” I muttered, choking down another sob. This woman, whoever she was seemed strong and I did _not_ want to come across as weak to her.

“My name is Natasha by the way, Natasha Romanoff. And you’re… Marissa, right?” I nodded again, then realized she wasn’t looking at me.

“Yeah, Marissa Hemler.”

“Loki seems a bit attached to you, it’s a little early for interrogation but until those morons sort things out, we’ve got a bit of time. So what’s going on between you and him?” I swallowed again, and stared at my hands.

“He, uh… We only met a few hours.. before… before the museum.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I squeezed them shut. “I was in the alley, trying to phone my friend when he showed up, when he…” I started to cry and I heard Natasha unbuckle her seatbelt could feel her sit next to me. She didn’t touch me, just sat there.

“Did he..?” I could only nod, I could hear her take a deep breath, then mutter.

“The bastard.” She put her hand on my knee and I flinched, she seemed to too, she didn’t seem the touchy feely type. “He can’t hurt you anymore. Don’t worry, we’re not going to let him go anywhere.” I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and looked up at her.

“I had never had sex before.” I breathed, unable to make any sound above a whisper. Her blue eyes bored into mine.

“Whatever that was, it was not sex. Sex is consensual. That was rape. He is nothing but a cowardly brat that is still mad that he didn’t get his way and become king of Asgard.” The back door of the jet opened and Thor, holding on to Loki, entered with Tony holding the Captain.

“Well, I’m in pain.” Tony announced, taking off his helmet. Natasha stood up, looking at Thor and Loki.

“Everything squared away, anybody going to have a hissy fit?” They all shook their heads.

“Good.” She said, then punched Loki in the face. We all froze, staring at her. “That was for Marissa you cowardly cunt.” She said, spitting in his face, then she turned and sat back in the co pilot seat and none of us said another word for the remainder of the flight.

I can’t even describe the head quarters. It was amazing, I had fallen asleep (I’m not sure how, especially since Loki was watching me from the other side of the aircraft), but Tony woke me up by pinching my elbow and led me out. I felt like I was on a boat, but it wasn’t. It was _flying._

Then I met Director Fury, and they led me to the interrogation room. Natasha was luckily following me, and she gave me a reassuring nod when I entered the room. Directory Fury could only be described as intimidatingly awesome. His eye patch freaked me out though.

“Please describe how you came to meet Loki for the first time.” He said, not waiting for introductions. I swallowed,

“Well, I was going to the Museum banquet with my father, but I promised my friend that I would call her before I entered because she loves Germany and she wanted me to describe what I had seen so far but I didn’t have any time besides then to call her. People were talking loudly though, so I slipped into the alley to make the call since it was quiet there. But-But I saw Loki trying to go through the back entrance and he-he knocked the phone out of my hand and…” I looked down at my hands, Natasha cleared her throat.

“Go on, Marissa.” She urged me quietly. I looked up and looked Director Fury straight in the eye.

“And then he raped me.” I said. I felt a wave of terror flow through me, I hadn’t ever spoken the words out loud yet. And it was _terrifying._ I saw a cloud of emotion go onto the Director’s face, and then it was gone. His eye flitted from mine for the tiniest of seconds, but it made me feel more confident none the less.

After that I explained everything else that had happened and finally they released me to my room, promising that I could go home soon. When I got to my room I collapsed onto my bed in a fit of tears, I didn’t want to go home. This made me feel like a little girl again, but I couldn’t help it. Home was where it would be worse. When my father found out what Loki had done to me… He won’t even be able to _look_ at me. How could he? I was disgusting, and if the Captain and Tony hadn’t captured Loki he surely would’ve brought me back to whatever base he resided at. I shivered and reminded myself to properly thank the captain in the morning.

“Marissa? Marissa.” I awoke in the middle of the night to see flaming red hair above me, before I could scream in surprise she covered my mouth with her hand. “Sh, it’s just me.” I nodded and she released me.

“Couldn’t you knock like a normal person?” I asked, rubbing my head and glancing at the clock next to the bed. 3 in the morning. For fuck’s sake.

“Where’s the fun in that?” she asked mischieviously. I frowned,

“Maybe not fun, but a good night’s sleep is helpful.” I muttered. She waved away my comment. She had changed out of her black cat suit and was wearing regular jeans and a tee shirt. She was so beautiful, I was jealous.

“Since this may be your night at La Headbase Quarters, I would like to formally invite you to dinner with me.” I rolled my eyes, sitting up.

“An early breakfast at best.” I said, collapsing back onto my bed. She tapped my forehead.

“Come on, nobody else would want to sneak out with me. I’m a _spy_ , if I can trick the President of Russia I can catch a jet to New Guinea for some food. That caught my attention, I sat up, interested.

“Are we over Africa?” I asked, she nodded, sensing my excitement.

“Come on, there’s never any fun girls here!”

I looked around, it was dark outside of my room, and the knowledge that Loki was still here, still on this ship sent shivers down my spine.

“I don’t know..” I said, unsure. Before she could come up with something else, something to persuade me to go with her, Steve burst into my room.

“Good gracious, Miss Romanoff you scared me half to death!” He exclaimed, setting his hands on his hips. Natasha stood up from where she was crouched next to my bed, all playfulness gone from her eyes.

“What, has something happened?” Steve nodded, then his eyes met mine and he gulped.

“Maybe we should discuss this outside.” My heart dropped. It’s not like I expected them to ask me to stay, to help or join the team, but I thought that they at least trusted me with information.

Plus it was fucking 3 in the morning, _why were these people awake?_

I sighed and rolled over, trying to release myself into sleep again, but I couldn’t do it a second time. Loki’s eyes had haunted me earlier in the night, but I had waved it off by listening to the busy sound of people still working outide. But now it was quiet, and nothing could distract me.

I cursed Natasha for waking me and stood up and changed into proper clothes. When I exited my room Steve was standing alone, he smiled weakly at me.

“Sorry, something has happened, and it looks like you’re staying with us for a bit longer.” I nodded, repressing my urge to grin and let out a whoop of victory.

“Spill. Have you guys gotten in touch with my father?” Steve nodded,

“He said to take as long as you need?” I sighed, of course he did. I loved my father, I did, but he was a coward who didn’t really care for me unless it was convenient for him to. Like the museum, he wanted a pretty girl for the important people to notice and he was currently in between girlfriends, so I had to do.

“I expected no less.” Steve’s eyebrows rose,

“You’re going to have to follow me.” I yawned and nodded. He led me to another room, which I took to be a lab and saw another man who was quietly working at his computer and didn’t even notice me.

“Doctor?” Steve asked, the man looked up, then pushed his glasses further up his nose and managed a weak smile.

“Oh, uh hi. Is this her?” He and I nodded at the same time, He came up to me, holding out his hands and I shook it.

“Doctor Banner, you must be Marissa.” He released my hand and I nodded, confused.

“I don’t understand, why am I here?”

“Well, as a precaution we did a bit of research on you, and somehow you failed to mention your outstanding intelligence.” He said, smiling at me from behind his glasses. I felt my cheeks redden and I shrugged,

“I didn’t think it would matter much.” I said self consciously, Steve was smiling at me proudly, like he was my father or something.

 

“Well, it’s a shame you didn’t say anything because we are  a under staffed at the moment for thermonuclear astrophysics, and it just so happens, that you know a lot on the subject, don’t you?”

 

I swallowed, looking around me uncomfortably. “I guess.” I murmured, embarrassed.

Doctor Banner scoffed, still smiling at me like I was the next baby Jesus or something,

                “You guess? I read your paper you put in to NASA for goodness sake. She’s going into her last year of college next year.” He told Steve, Steve raised his eyebrows and I wondered if he even knew what NASA was.

                And so I helped him in the lab, at 9 in the morning Tony showed up complaining about how he and Steve had run into one another. Blah blah blah

“I’m sorry, Director, what were you lying?” Tony turned the computer screen to show us all. The director took a breath, seeing that he was out numbered by these angry people.

“It’s because of him.” He said, pointing to Thor.

“Me?”

                They all continued to argue, until finally Doctor Banner, whom I had grown quite attached to in the last few hours spoke angrily, picking up Loki’s spear, his eyes a dangerous color as he stared straight at Natasha.

                And then the locator beeped. I squeaked, forgetting my job for a second and jumped up from my place on the counter.

“Oh, I’ll just go—yeah.” I stammered, running over to the screen.

“Sorry kids, looks like you don’t get to see my party trick after all.” Banner said, he looked over my shoulder and I turned to him.

“Mother of god.” He said, figuring out the same thing I had. Everyone looked at us, Natasha came over too and I started to head for Tony when the bomb went off.


	3. Round and around we go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one, sorry. BUT THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS STORY AND KUDOS'D IT SO FAR! Would it be too much to ask for a comment or something? No pressure, just a'wonderin' how I'm doing.

The windows around us shattered and Steve threw himself on top of me, we stayed that way for a moment until Steve jumped up, first asking if I was okay, then left with Tony.

I ran with Directory Fury to the main station, and it was hectic. He turned to me, his eye trained on both of mine,

“Do you know anything that can help us?” He asked, I swallowed nervously, watching the hysteria.

“I can shoot a gun.” I said confidently, despite my inner panic attack. I looked up at him and for the first time I think I saw him smile.

 

I snuck through the passage ways, Thor was off helping Natasha, Steve and Tony were trying to fix one of the fans, and who knew where Coulson was. That was my job.

It felt nice having a job.

I had searched the place, top and bottom, only leaving out Loki’s room because honestly, I didn’t think I could deal with that. But it was the only place left to check.

I swallowed my pride and entered, just in time to see Thor get trapped in the aircraft.

“No!” I shouted, and Loki turned from where he was.

“And there she is, you know Thor, I can see why you like Midguardians so much.” He said, and then suddenly one of his copies appeared behind me, knocking the gun out of my hands, his nose went to my neck where he inhaled deeply, like I was dessert and his arms snaked around my waist.

“They are a lot of fun to fuck.” He whispered, Thor hit the glass with his hammer, and Loki smiled as the cranks pulled back.

“They weren’t lying.” He said, raising his eyebrows. I was pushed up the stairs, at his feet where he stood in front of the red button.

“The humans think us immortal… Should we test that?” He flipped open the button, I looked left and right, unsure what to do when I heard Coulson’s voice.

“Move away please.”

Both Loki and I swiveled around to see Phil, who was holding a large gun.

“You like this? It’s phase two prototype; even I don’t know what it does.” He hit a button and it lit up, “You wanna find out?”

Loki appeared behind him, driving him through with his spear. Thor and I shouted “NO!” simultaneously as Coulson slumped to the ground. Loki pulled his spear out of him and returned to the button. I let out a pent up sob and tried to run to Coulson’s body, but Loki kicked me down before I could completely stand up.

“No, no. Stay there kitten.” He reprimanded, staring down at me fondly. And then he hit the button, us both watching as Thor fell out of the aircraft. I think I screamed, I don’t know. All I know is Loki stooped down to lift me up, and Coulson spoke again.

“You’re going to lose, you know.” He said, Loki stood up straight, dragging me up with him. “It’s in your nature.”

“Hmm.” He draped a hand around my waist, I tried to push him away but his fingers only tightened until I stopped. “Your heroes are scattered, your flying fortress falls from the sky, where exactly is my disadvantage?” He asked, he released me to saunter over to Coulson, we made eye contact and he diverted his eyes to the left. I cocked my head, not understanding, he looked down at his gun, then back up at me.

“You lack conviction.” Coulson said simply. Loki bristled,

“Well I don’t think I—“ Coulson shot the gun and Loki was blasted back into the wall.

“So that’s what it does.”

“Phil!” I shouted, running over to him. He was bleeding, badly.

“Phil, what do I do? What can I do?” I swallowed, he looked up at me.

“Go get Director Fury.” He said simply, I nodded, then wished they had given me an ear piece to go along with my gun which I leaned over and grabbed from the ground.

“Is he dead, do you think?” I asked, looking over to where Loki was supposed to be.

“Don’t worry, just-just go.” He said, groaning. I nodded, and I knew it was important, but curiosity was my best and worst trait.

I jogged over to where he was to sneak a peek, my gun trained.

“Go ahead and shoot.” He wheezed, holding on to his side. I smiled.

“Gladly.” I cocked the gun confidently feeling vengeful and murderous, but then, he vanished and he was behind me, dragging me away.

“Will you ever not fall for that?” He repeated to me as he had Thor, and he swung me over his shoulder and ran down the passages. I opened my mouth to scream, but suddenly we were on another airplane and taking off into the air.

He threw me into a seat and strapped me in like a toddler; I fought against him the whole way, tears already bubbling over the surface. He shushed me and gagged me, looking at his minions.

“Where’s Barton?” He asked, one of the robotic people looked up from unloading their gun.

“He’s gone sir.” He said stoically.

Loki scowled, then looked back at me.

His face seemed to light up a bit to see me strapped in and gagged, I did my best to glare at him in a way that would put my point across. Fuck. You.

“I guess you win some you lose some,” he traced a finger on the side of my face and I moved my head, desperately trying to get his disgusting touch away from me. But he didn’t seem put off by my lack of enthusiasm. “I think you’ll really enjoy where we’re going.”

He will never win. I had seen the Avengers close up, and they might be a little misguided at the moment, but if they were to fight as one, they would not be the mere force Loki thought they would be.

After hours of Loki telling me of his plans for me for what we would do when we arrived, we arrived. Right where I knew we would be, Stark Tower. I hoped to God they would figure it out soon.

He dragged me from the jet as his people all set up the portal. He wasn’t headed for the roof like the rest of them, he was headed for the bedroom. I shrieked and fought against him the whole way, this couldn’t happen again. It couldn’t.

He threw me on the bed, undoing his trousers right in front of me. I tried to get up, but one of his copies came and held me down. When Loki was finished undressing, his copy disappeared and he pulled me by the ankle down to where he was.

“You know I liked that green dress, but these shorts do show off those skinny little legs well, do they not?” I answered by kneeing him in the face. He let out a squeal and almost released me, but he bounced back easily his green eyes angry, but full of lust.

“Oh you’ll pay for that.” He spat, grabbing my hair and yanking it up. I shrieked and fought harder but he easily ignored my attacks and set to work pulling off my pants. Hot tears streaked down my cheeks and finally my fist flung up and got him hard on the jaw.

He paused, looking down at me, before he raised his arm and backhanded me across the face so hard I fell back onto the bed.

I didn’t fight too hard after that.

He successfully pulled off my shorts and then took off my shirt, inhaling sharply as he looked down at my bare chest. I kept my eyes squeezed tightly, even when he released his hold on my hair to trace a hand lightly down my breasts.

“More beautiful then I imagined, kitten. What else have you been hiding from me?” I didn’t answer, and he didn’t expect one. He lowered his mouth to my nipple and started kneading my other breast with one hand, the other went to squeezing my backside. I was limp and cold, trying to coax my mind to another place, somewhere with Natasha. I pretended I had taken Natasha up on that offer and we were hitting the town together, until all of a sudden Loki released my boob and kissed me square on the lips.

His tongue darted out and pushed at my lips, but I made no move to let him in. Finally he reached down and slid his finger into my opening and I gasped, he took advantage of this opportunity and shoved his tongue into my mouth exploring every crevice. Then all of a sudden I heard fabric rip and my underwear was gone. I screamed into his mouth, pushing my hands against his chest but it did nothing. It did nothing to stop him.

I sobbed as he aimed himself and shoved all the way in without any warning. He groaned, his eyes almost seeming to roll into the back of his skull and he slowly started to pump in and out. I felt ready to pass out, all I felt was white hot _pain._ He moaned as my walls tightened around him, and then he started to speed up. I squeezed my eyes shut, even as he lifted one of my legs and put it on his shoulder to get better access. I could hear the disgusting smack of his hips colliding with mine, but besides that… nothing.

All of a sudden he pulled out of me, and I opened an eye cautiously. He hadn’t finished yet certainly. His hand darted out and contracted around my throat. My eyes widened as he got on the bed and kneeled next to my head, his penis fully erect, almost hitting my nose.

“Suck, whore.” He commanded, I shook my head no, but his hand tightened around my throat and I clawed at it, my airways blocked. “Don’t test me, kitten.” He growled, I hesitated, but opened my mouth, tears coming down my face again. He nodded, urging me on. I swallowed the last of my pride, and took him slowly in my mouth.

He groaned, and his hand left my throat to grab the back of my head, fingers tangled in my golden locks.  “Suck.” He ordered aggressively, yanking my hair hard. I let out a muffled cry of pain and did as he asked, he threw his head back and guided my head up and down his long shaft. I was disgusted, after a few minutes I tried to pull my head away but his fingers pulled my hair tighter and I let out yelp of pain, and accidentally grazed him with my teeth.

He jumped up and pushed me backwards causing me to fall off the bed. I tried to pull myself up, but he was already picking me up and threw me back onto the mattress. I shrieked as his fist connected with my nose and I heard a sickening crunch and warm liquid drip onto my mouth. He didn’t stop there, he grabbed my hair again and yanked me up, I cried out, grabbing desperately at his hands.

“Bitch.” He snarled, his eyes were green fire and I prayed to god I wouldn’t wet my pants out of pure terror. He looked up and down my bruising body, and a smirk started to ghost on his lips.

“The rest of that little rag tag team of freaks will be here I bet, how will they react to seeing their new friend like this?” He asked me, I didn’t answer, I closed my eyes and hoped that whatever he was going to do to me he would do it quickly, to end my pain. He shook me, and my eyes flew open.

“Answer me, quim!” He said, I shook my head.

“I don’t know!” I wailed, my voice cracked and I let out another sob, he released me and I collapsed onto the bed, crying. He harrumphed.

“I’m not finished with you.” He said angrily as I tried to get up. I froze immediately. “Come here and spread your legs.” He ordered, I let out another sob, but did as commanded. I crawled over and he dragged me by the waist of the rest of the way. A cloth appeared and he wiped the blood off my face. Then he yanked my legs in either direction and shoved himself to the hilt inside of me. I let out a blood curling scream as he pummeled into me. He smacked me before I could shriek again and then crashed his lips to mine. Finally his thrusts became more sloppy, and he emptied himself into me.

He collapsed onto the bed beside me, breathing heavily, before he squeezed my breast almost lovingly, and left the room.


	4. Hello, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I've already written most of this, and I'm not gonna have a lot of time to keep editing through it, so this one might be a little sloppy, which I apologize for. Just so you people know, this chapter has A LOT of smut in it too, so brace yo'self.
> 
> OH AND THANK YOU TO THOSE WONDERFUL TWO PEOPLE WHO COMMENTED. IT MADE MY NIGHT!

_He collapsed onto the bed beside me, breathing heavily, before he squeezed my breast almost lovingly, and left the room._

I curled into a ball, pulling the blanket over my broken body and cried for the rest of the night. Loki didn’t come back until the next morning, but he was in a cheerful mood. He woke me up by kissing me firmly, I opened an eye warily. He pulled the blanket off of me, then wrinkled his nose.

“You didn’t take a shower?” He asked, I shook my head. He let out a puff of air from his nose and scooped me up, bringing me with him to the bathroom. He then set himself up to taking off my clothes. When I was fully bare he let out a guttural growl, “maybe one fuck for the day.” He muttered to himself. I pushed myself backwards until I collided with the sink. My head snapped up so I could meet his hungry gaze and I gulped fearfully.

He reached towards me and smoothed back my wild hair. “Do you know what I am going to ask you to do?” He wondered, tracing my lower lip. I looked away.

“Sit back and spread my legs.” I replied unemotionally. He chuckled, and turned my head so I was looking at him.

“Not this time kitten.” He whispered, then lifted me up and put me on my stomach. I reached out and tried to drag myself away but he had me by the waist. He dragged me to the bath where he put my torso on the bath and left my knees on the floor so my ass was sticking in the air. I pressed my cheek against the cool tub and closed my eyes, tears dripping down and sliding down the drain.

He teased my folds, trying to spark a reaction out of me. I shook my head, fists clenching. “N-No.” I murmured, he paused.

                “What was that, kitten?” He asked, leaning closer. I turned to look him in the eye. I took a deep breath, calming myself.

                “I said..” I paused, he lifted an eyebrow. And I spit on his face.

                He let out a loud sound of disgust and almost released me. I clawed at his hands, trying to break free. He sat up, then grabbed my hair and slammed my head into the tub. I cried out in desperate pain as he did it again.

                “You want it rough?” He yelled in my ear. I sobbed, shaking my head.

                “N-no, no, no.” I cried, shaking my head. He lifted my hair again and I cried out again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, don’t-please don’t.” I wailed. He growled again and slammed my face on the edge of the tub again. I could feel him preparing himself, and then instead of going for my cervix, he stuck himself right in my asshole.

                I screamed out like I’ve never screamed before. “NO!” I shouted, slapping the tub. He moved slowly out and it felt like my world was falling apart. He pulled out slowly, trying to get me to adjust to him, before slamming himself back in. He grunted in pleasure,

                “You’re magnificently tight my dear.” He murmured breathlessly, and slammed into me again.  My sobs got quieter as he continued, I felt like I should pass out. Again and again he tore my world apart, I was pretty sure I was bleeding. And then he released his hold, and instead, probably using my blood as lubrication, thrusted into my cervix. I cried out again, just for dramatic effect and he slapped me.

                “Don’t act like you don’t like it, darling.” He snarled, since my cunt was less tight then my ass he went at a much more rapid pace. He released my hair and grabbed both of my hips, pulling me back and forth on his dick. I tried to anchor myself to the tub once, but he warned me he would use my other opening instead and I went limp. His moans and my sobs filled the bathroom, until finally he unloaded into me. He collapsed onto my back, I could feel his sweaty chest and  wanted to throw up or possibly even die. He stayed inside of me, to the point I couldn’t bear it any longer and I wiggled against him, trying to break free.

                “I wouldn’t do that, kitten.” He laughed, kissing my shoulder blade. “You might get me erect again.” I froze and waited for him to finish proving whatever point he wanted to. “Maybe you should keep doing it, it felt wonderful darling.” He kissed my shoulder again, seeing as I made no move to continue he finally pulled out of me. “When I finish the war I will definitely let you be on top,” He whispered, chuckling as I winced.

                He left me on the floor and took a shower first, saying something about midguardian baths. Then he reached down and lifted me up, like a helpless ragdoll.

He set me in the bath and washed me like a child, but I didn’t do anything. I just sat there.

After he finished he dried me off, then put me in a cute little sundress that if I wasn’t captive, I would have drooled over. Hours later he left me in the living room while he went out on the balcony, I heard a huge explosion and I was surprised to see Tony come in through the other entrance. I tried to get up to greet him, but after seeing the look Loki sent me, I stayed where I was.

“Please tell me you’ve come to appeal to my humanity.” Loki said, holding out a hand to me, smirking at Tony. Tony coughed, his eyes meeting mine. He must have noticed my bruised face because I noticed his hands clench angrily and his jaw jut out.

“No, actually I came to threaten you.” He said, Loki snorted, putting an arm around my waist.

“You should have kept your armor on for that.” Loki squeezed my side and I gasped, a bruise was there from last night.

Stark ignored that, instead asking me lowly, “You alright, Mar?” I sent a glance at Loki, who raised his eyebrows.

“F-Fine.” I muttered, looking down.

“You two want a drink?” Loki shook his head and I nodded. I needed so many drinks at the moment

“Stalling me won’t help anything.”

“No, threaten.” He went behind the bar and poured himself a drink. “You sure you don’t want a drink? I’m having one.”

“The chitauri are coming, there is no stopping it.” He released me and I took that chance to step away from him. He dramatically looked out the window, then looked back.“What have I to fear?”

Stark took a sip of his drink, then held out a glass for me. I took it from him and he placed something in my hand, I didn’t dare react.

“The Avengers.” He stated, still looking at me. I went back to Loki, hoping I was doing what Tony wanted me to. Loki looked at him quizzically.

“Oh, it’s what we call ourselves. Earth’s mightiest heroes and all that.” He described each one of them fondly, and I realized that they had all made their peace.  “And you, sir, have managed to piss off every single one of them.”

“That was the plan.”

“Yeah, not a great plan. Because when they come, and they will, they’re coming for you.” Loki’s smile dipped into a frown. I took a sip, enjoying his irritation.

“I have an army.” He sneered, trying to one up Tony.

“We have a hulk.” Stark countered.

“I thought the beast had wandered off.”

“You’re not getting this, there is no throne, there is no version of this where you come on top, because if we can’t protect the Earth you can be damned sure we’ll avenge it.”  Loki scowled and pushed me away, I stumbled almost falling.

“How will your friends have time for me, when they’re so busy fighting you.” He raised his scepter and started for Tony’s chest.

“No!” I cried, then the scepter went ‘Ping!’ as it collided with Tony’s chest. All three of us froze, confused. Loki raised it again, ‘Ping!’

“This usually works.” Loki murmured, Tony shrugged.

“Performance issues are not uncommon, one out of five—“ He was cut off as Loki threw Tony to the ground.

“Anytime now, JARVIS.” Tony said nervously before Loki lifted him by the throat.

“You will all fall beneath me.” He snarled,

“Deploy, deploy!” He shouted over Loki’s shoulder. I screamed as his body went through the window and hurtled towards the ground, I heard something crash behind me and just had barely enough time to dive for the ground as it sailed after Stark. I ran to look down and saw it attach to Tony right before he hit the ground and he flew up.

“And there’s one other person you’ve managed to piss off.” He said, voice almost mechanic. I looked up at him in wonder, astounded. “His name was Phil.” Loki opened his mouth to answer him, but Tony lifted his hand and shot him in the chest. He grabbed me by the middle and carried me away through the air.

Something crackled above us, and we watched as a beam of light came through the tesseract into the sky above, splitting it open like a mouth.

“Right, army.” Tony muttered, he flew down to the ground and set me next to a building. “Stay indoors and don’t do anything stupid, Natasha and Steve should be around at some point. Stay low, because I don’t know what the ugly duckling will do to get you back.” I nodded, before he shot up to the sky I hugged his metal suit tightly and whispered,

“Thank you.” He nodded and flew up. I watched him for a couple of seconds, before I helped hurry people into the restaurant.

 

Things were exploding, one of the Chitauri got into the restaurant, and he had a bomb. I looked around, not sure of what to do before Steve came crashing in.

The police ushered us out, but Steve caught sight of me and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to him.

I let out a whimper as he touched my bruises and his face hardened. “I’ll kill him.” He muttered, then wrapped me in a hug.

“Get in line.” I murmured, he smiled and I was sent away by a police officer. I wanted to help, but what skills did I have?

 

We stayed in the basement of an old building for hours, people were crying nearby and I hoped that all of them would be okay. Finally we were let out, I felt like a vampire going into the sun light. I didn’t see any of the group nearby until a police officer tapped me on the shoulder.

“They’re waiting for you.” He said, gesturing to his car. I thanked him and got in, I didn’t notice that his eyes were a bright blue, almost too bright.

I realized once I was in that it was a mistake. The doors locked behind me, and since I got in the back seat, it was caged off from the front. “No.” I whispered, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. He driver got in and mechanically started the car. I tugged at the door handle, “I think I left something behind, can you unlock the doors?” I asked, trying not to convey how scared I was. The driver glanced in the rearview mirror, his bright blue eyes dull and lifeless.

“I’ll let you out when we arrive.” He said, I started to panic and anxiously pulled at the door handle again.

“Let me out!” I cried, tugging and tugging.

“I’ll let you out when we arrive.” He repeated, I shook my head, clawing at the police car’s door.

“No, no, no, no.” I wailed, I banged on the window, but nobody was paying attention to the police car. People were already cleaning outside, I caught sight of a child poking one of the chitauri before a mother came and brought him away. I slumped down in my seat and covered my eyes with my hands, sobbing. I was so _close_ to getting away.

I fell asleep in the backseat, too tired of crying and screaming to do anything else. I awoke to the police officer roughly carrying me from the car to a beaten up old house that was right next to central park. Furiously I banged my fists against him, his back, his chest, his shoulders, anywhere I could reach. It didn’t make a dent in his long stride though, and soon I was thrown onto a ratty old couch and the police officer disappeared out the door, locking it behind him.

I wandered around the small cottage, spider webs were all over the place and everything had at least an inch of dust coating it. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, the Avengers had surely captured Loki, so what was the purpose of trapping me here?

The house had no windows, and the only door I could find was the one we had entered in. The house had three rooms, the living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. All were disgusting and old and I didn’t want to have to stay here for the remainder of my days.

                A couple hours after arriving I heard the door unlock, I jumped from my spot on the couch and ran behind it, peeking out from underneath it. I could see large black boots and my breath hitched. Maybe they _hadn’t_ captured Loki. Maybe he got away, and he was coming for _me_. I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep from hyperventilating, the boots approached me, getting closer and closer until a blonde head appeared right in front of me.

                I screamed and fell backwards. I didn’t stop to think about it and scrambled from underneath the couch, but a hand had attached itself to my ankle and there was nowhere to go and I couldn’t hear anything but my frantic heart beating and shallow breathing. But the face that greeted me was not Loki’s, but Thor’s.

                “Calm down, Marissa, please. It is only I.” He said calmly. I stopped struggling immediately, embarrassed.

                “Wh-where’s Loki?” I asked timidly. I hadn’t spoken to Thor more than twice, and I hadn’t really hoped to either. He was big, with shaggy blonde hair and he wore a cape like some kind of medieval king.

                He didn’t answer my question, instead his eyebrows knit together as he took in all my bruises. “Gods, he did this to you?” I swallowed and looked away, ashamed. He shook his head, as if emptying his thoughts. “He is getting ready for our departure as we speak. As soon as we couldn’t find you, we all panicked. Natasha finally coaxed the truth about your whereabouts from Loki and I got here as quickly as I could.”

                I felt a rush of emotion for Natasha, and I almost smiled.

                “Wh-Why did he send me here?”

                “I guess he thought he’d eventually get free, and was looking forward to you waiting here for him.” A tear ran down my cheek and Thor coughed uncomfortably.

                “I can bring you back to your father if you like.” He said after I wiped my face. My head snapped up and I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to see that coward ever again, he had abandoned me when I needed him most. It didn’t surprise me since he had always been that way, but I thought that in a time of danger he would at least try to get me to run away with him. But no, he had just left, only thinking of himself as per usual.

                “I can’t. He-He failed me and I don’t want to- I don’t want to have to listen to him plead for forgiveness.” _Or deal with him not even realizing what he did wrong._

                Thor nodded, as if he expected this. He didn’t meet my eye with his next surprise, “We do have to bring you to the hospital though.” I raised an eyebrow,

                “You do, why?” He wiped his hands on his pants.

                “We need to check for a child.” He answered. My eyes widened, I shook my head, stepping away from him.

                “No.” I whispered, he reached out a hand, but I shied away from it.

                “Marissa, I apologize. But on Asgard we hold children in high regard. It is not customary for us to ignore one being pregnant. If you are, you will need the doctors of my world, the one’s here will not know how to handle it.” I shook my head again, I was counting on Loki being pulled away from this planet, from this galaxy. But now I would not only be in the same world as him, but possibly the same living space.

                “You might die if we don’t do something.” He said, holding out his hand to me. Finally the week’s events took their toll on me, and I fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp... comment! Kudos! subscribe! Thanks for reading!


	5. Something Wicked This Way Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and views! Y'all are amazing! :* (VERY HARD CORE THIS STORY, AND ALL THE CHAPTERS COMING AFTER IT, I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF TRIGGER WARNINGS, AND OTHER WARNINGS I CAN DO, BUT I REPEAT, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY SCARED BY VIOLENCE! THANK YOU)

I woke up with a cold hand on my stomach; I sat up immediately and screamed, clawing them away. Hands reached out and gripped my wrists, restraining me. I screamed again, my hair flew into my face and I struggled against their hold on me.

                “Madam, madam please! “ Someone shouted, I screamed again until I heard someone boom.

                “Marissa, calm down!” I froze, it was Thor. Slowly I opened my eyes to see a lot of people staring at me, they all looked scared. I swallowed, my eyes darting to everyone, not trusting them.

“Where am I?” I whispered, looking down and scratching my arm absently. The people had released me when I had calmed down.

                Thor looked away, seemingly uncomfortable. It was then I noticed the people’s strange outfits. My breathing hitched. “Where am I?” I demanded, fighting tears.

                “Asgard.” He admitted, “you’re on Asgard.” My eyes filled with tears and I shook my head as he rushed to explain. “We took the test,”

                “No,” I muttered,

                “It seems that in Loki’s…plights he made you with child—”

                “No,” I repeated, putting my head in my hands.

                “The doctors on Midguard are good, but they do not understand out kind as we do, I had no choice—”

                “NO!” I screamed, the doctors jumped, “You _did_ have a choice. What makes you think I want this-this _thing_ inside of me?” I asked him, he swallowed.

                “Marissa, I apologize greatly, but here on Asgard we do not consider… We do not consider abortion a legal choice.” I started to breath heavier, gasping I said,

                “Get. Out.” Thor frowned,

                “Marissa—”

                “Get out! I don’t give a damn what you consider abortion! I am _not_ having this baby, and I am _not_ going to let another man take control of my--” I stopped and broke down into sobs as the past few days’ events took their toll. I heard Thor make a sympathetic noise as he touched my shoulder, hesitating. I shook him off, turning away.

                “Just, just leave me alone.” I said coldly, not looking up. I heard him sigh sadly, but the door opened and shut, leaving me in peace.

 

                His hand crept towards my throat, I cried out, scratching at him and kicking my legs, doing everything I could to get him away from me.

                “I told you you would be on top, did I not?” He asked manically, I screamed as he grabbed my waist and—

 

“Marissa! Marissa wake up!” My eyes met Thor’s blue ones. I gasped for air, his meaty hands were holding back my shoulders, I looked up at him, tears in my eyes, before I fell to his chest, sobbing. Thor froze, before he started petting my hair uncomfortably. “I am so, so sorry dear Marissa.” He whispered into my hair. I only cried in response, I would never, never be able to recover from this. Would I?

“I can’t give birth to his spawn.” I whispered, choking on my own tears. Thor sighed,

“It pains me to make you do this Marissa, but it is not our way. It is very hard and very rare for an Asgardian to get pregnant; we hold our own in great standard.” I sighed,

“But he is not Asgardian.” I argued, I couldn’t stand to whisper his name, it pained me to envision him, even having this conversation set my stomach to twisting and turning. Thor nodded,

“But he is family, and that makes him Asgardian.” I frowned and looked away,

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Thor sighed,

“I know, but, there is one issue we still need to discuss.” I looked up at him, he didn’t meet my eye as he continued. “In order for a healthy birth for both parts, the woman needs, needs the father to be present, to be holding the other hand.” My eyes widened,

“No,” I murmured, shaking my head. “No he is not coming near me! You promised!” Thor squeezed his eyes shut,

“It pains me, it does. But he needs to be with you, and we’ve lost enough time already.” I shook my head. “He needs to be with you for the most part for the duration of your pregnancy.” I shook my head again.

“No, no do not let him near me! Please!” I pleaded, Thor shook his head at me, holding out a hand.

“Shouldn’t he have to pay for his crimes?” I asked, ignoring his outstretched hand. Thor looked away again,

“Trust me, friend. He has.” He said lowly, finally I took his hand and he led me down the hall and into a large bedroom.

I gasped at the expanse, it was beautiful, something you would think of out of a fairy tale. I turned to Thor with excitement. “Is this my room?” I asked, smiling. Loki forgotton for a moment, Thor wasn’t paying attention to me, he was looking at something over my shoulder.

“She is here, brother. Now release our father.” I turned around slowly to see Loki stepping out from a shadow, his hair slicked back and his scepter glowing. My eyebrows furrowed, release their father?

“No, I’m not sure if she is real or not, bring her to me.” Thor hesitated, “I said, BRING HER TO ME. Or that midguardian slut and _your_ father will be no more.” I looked back at Thor as it dawned on me.

“Y-You lied to me.” I whispered, Thor wouldn’t meet my eye.

“I had no choice, he has the upper hand. I am so, so sorry.” He held me by the elbow and led me to where Loki was waiting. I started to cry and plead, trying to tear myself away, refusing to look at the God of Mischief.

I felt his cold hand slide around my arm and my breathing intensified. I clung to Thor’s broad muscles, not wanting him to take me away.

“Brother! Take control of her!” Loki finally uttered, frustrated with my actions. Thor stilled at the utterance of ‘Brother’ but did as he was told. I was ripped away from Thor and I landed in Loki’s arms, who tightened around me immediately. I felt him sigh in content as his fingers started to smooth back my hair as I started to wildly thrash in his arms.

“You have what you asked for, Loki. Now please, release them.” Thor pleaded, Loki looked up from me and sighed.

“Yes, yes. They won’t be killed. Now return to your room.”

“They’re, free?” He asked, Loki frowned at his doubt.

“Yes you insolent Bilshnype. You will find your midguardian whore in your room. But I’m afraid the Alfather must stay in his cell, wouldn’t want you two to start a conspiracy. Don’t fret, he will be quite comfortable there. Perhaps I shall put him in a dream state, where he still believes he is king.” Thor looked away and nodded, turning to leave.

“Ah, ah, ah.” He chided before Thor could take a step, “I haven’t yet dismissed you.” Thor stopped and I saw every muscle in his body clench angrily.

“Do I have your permission to be excused, your Majesty?” Thor almost spat. Loki smiled, satisfied.

“Why yes of course. But first, I want you to watch this.” Thor turned, almost by an imaginary force pulling him. It was then I realized he was without his beloved hammer. He never went far without it. Loki had taken control of the entire realm! My thoughts were stilled as Loki ran a hand down my face. I shuddered and moved to fight him off but the look in Loki’s eyes stopped me.

Suddenly he slapped me across the face and I cried out, falling out of his arms and hitting the floor hard. I looked up to see Thor wincing, his fist clenching. Loki kicked me in the side and I cried out again, closing my eyes he grabbed my hair and pulled me up so I was looking up at him.

“You will never leave me again, do you understand that my pet?” He growled, I only continued to cry. He yanked up on my hair and quickly I spluttered,

“Yes, yes! I understand it!” Loki smirked, satisfied with my response. He looked up at his brother who was horrified with my treatment.

“You are dismissed now, I don’t wish for you to see this last part, it will get a little gory.” I stopped breathing, eyes wide. Thor’s jaw clenched.

“Brother, please look at how you are treating her—”

“I SAID YOU ARE DISMISSED!” Loki thundered, Thor took a step back, sent a pitying look at me, and left the room. As soon as the door shut Loki released my hair. I curled up into a ball, wishing for this all to go away.

His hands were soon on my waist, throwing me over his shoulder and bringing me to his bed. I turned into a blubbering, pleading mess as he threw me on the bed.

“Loki, Loki please!” I landed on the bed with a slight bounce and threw myself to the side, crawling. I heard him chuckle,

“As much as I do love you fighting back, my pet, let’s leave that for another night, yes?” I shook my head, my blonde curls were messy and crusted with blood and tears that were still there from only the night before. He began to tear his own clothing off, pausing only to grab my ankle and drag me back down to him when I tried to scramble away. When he finished he started on my sundress, which I was still wearing from the day before. He breathed at my bruised and battered body, barely containing his feral grin.

“I am _so_ glad you were unable to get away, my dear. I certainly would have missed _this_.” His comment only caused me to let out a pent out sob, shaking my head. He was crazy, and I was under his control with no hope for rescue any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The midguardian slut he was talking about to Thor was Jane if you didn't catch it btw) Comment! Kudos! Favorite! Subscribe! I'm not sure how this works yet, but let me know how I'm doing!


	6. Not Sure How to Handle it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically pure smut ahead, so

He leaned in, his cold breath causing my pale skin to break into goosebumps as he whispered, “I did want you on top, did I not?” I whimpered and he began to kiss up and down my neck and I cried harder, madly pushing away his hands that clutched at my breasts painfully. He kissed down my neck and between the valley of my breasts, he hummed in content as they brushed against his cheeks but he continued his journey downwards, down past my belly button to my clit. I gasped as his tongue darted between my folds and I shifted in discomfort, trying to clamp my thighs shut but he kept them pried open as he continued to lick my center. I grasped at the sheets, my back arching as I did my best not to hit him over the head, this was _not_ pleasurable mostly due to the fact that I despised every crevice of the disgusting monster in front of me.

He hummed when my back arched, thinking it was out of pleasure and said, his mouth still on my folds, “don’t be afraid to moan, kitten, it makes this better.”

“Can you find a way to make this better for me?” I panted, without thinking of what I was saying. I froze when he suddenly stopped and stood up, his rage written plainly across his face. I cringed and tried to back away but he caught both of my ankles and kept me firmly in place.

“Well, if you say it that way…” He said dangerously, he released my ankles only to grab my sides and flip me over so I was on my stomach. I let out a short scream, immediately pleading him,

“No, no, no, please, not again, please, please, please.” He ignored my pleas to the point where they turned into incoherent babbling as I sobbed against his blanket, his finger tested my entrance and my hips shuddered in his iron grip. He released my hip only to reach forward and grab my hair and the back of my neck. I let out another muffled cry as he yanked back my hair and his finger left my entrance. I braced myself for the impact, he plunged into my cunt and I let out a hallowed scream, sobbing and trying put my head back down but Loki pulled back my hair even harder, moaning in ecstasy. With my free hands I reached forward, trying to dragmyself away, but every inch I moved, Loki moved with me. We hit the headboard, Loki thrusting into me like a drill and I crying and shrieking in pain. I kept trying to pull myself away, only succeeding in curling myself into the headboard. I sobbed as his hands left my hair and he pulled me up so I was sitting upright, my back against his front.

His hand moved to the front of my neck as he continued thrusting, grunting, but his chest was not even warm, his heartbeat had barely seemed to accelerate. This made me cry harder as I realized his stamina was much longer than most people’s, he might be able to continue all night!

His other hand slipped down my side, brushing over the side of my boobs and giving it a loving squeeze as it continued downward, he rubbed every crevice of my body, as if he were trying to memorize it as he continued to plow into me. I started to sob harder as his hand went to my belly and rubbed smooth circles around it. His hand on my neck tightened and I stopped immediately, gasping for air.

“You going to be a good little whore?” He asked menacingly in my ear, I nodded quickly in response. He pulled me backwards hard, slamming me into his chest. “ _Say it._ ” He commanded, his thrusts accelerated and I tried to lift my weight off of him a little, then maybe it wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable and painful, but he moaned in response and in shock I dropped right back down on him. He moaned louder, his hand loosened on my throat and I let in a huge breath of air, suddenly both of his hands gripped my waist and he lifted me off of him, only to whirl me around so I was facing him.

My small hands flew to his gigantic shoulders where I held on to them for balance. Loki was focused on my face as he tried to lift up my hips to get his dick back in. I tried my best to shove him away, throwing a few faint hearted punches to his chest, he only chuckled in response before he successfully landed me right back on. I cried out and fell forward on to his  hard chest, he wrapped his arms around me, securing me to him as he lifted our hips, I sobbed against his shoulder.

An idea popped into my mind, and (of course) without thinking, I bit his shoulder with the strength my fifth grade bastard of a guinea pig would have been proud of. He let out a sound of more surprise than pain and one hand left me to go to his shoulders. I looked at him in fear, my sweaty curls handing limply around my shoulders and in front of my face. He looked sideways at his shoulder, and then back at me.

“You just bit me!” He exclaimed, still processing the fact. I let out a puff of air, trying to get my hair out of my eyes. I didn’t respond, only put my hands on his thighs and tried to bring myself away. I heard him growl in frustration and suddenly I heard a loud ‘SLAP’ and my head get whipped to the side with a blow that would have knocked me over if he wasn’t holding on to me. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of crying out, I kept my face aimed to the side, before I rolled back my head, getting my hair out of my eyes again before looking at him.

I saw his eyes light up when my green gaze met his and all of a sudden he had his hands on my hips and was laying back as I continued to be sitting up. I knew what he wanted, I shook my head, desperately trying to pull myself away, to hit him or something, but he managed to wrestle me back easily, even with him laying on the bed.

“Here’s the deal, kitten.” He began, rubbing circles into my hips with his thumbs, “you get me off, and I’ll let you alone for the rest of the night.” I looked at him in horror, he grinned, seeing my mortification.

I shook my head, but his grin didn’t waver. He lifted up my hips ever so slightly and slammed himself back on me. I toppled forward, my hands n the bed right over Loki’s head, and my boobs hanging right in his face. I shrieked and tried to scramble back up, but one of his hands wrapped around the small of my back, locking me in place.

“Mmm, I like this position much better actually. Stay like this.” I shuddered, letting out another dry sob. I knew that this could last for hours if I didn’t do something, Loki was sure liking the view, and I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to go home. Loki started to suckle my nipple and my chest tightened, all of a sudden he bit down hard and I screamed as loud as I had when Loki had first raped me.  He chuckled, lips still drawn around it, I got his point.

Timidly, I lifted my hips and put them back down, Loki released my nipple, his other hand went to my breast and he began to knead it and I began to rock my hips back and fourth. He froze and his back arched, moaning as I continued my dirty work, rocking back and fourth and grinding my hips into his. I kept going slowly, until Loki couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed my hips, roughly and rapidly bringing me up and down on him so hard and fast that I feared I would suffer from whiplash.

To make things easier on myself I tried to match his pace, so he wouldn’t bring me up so hard, but that only made him more turned on and finally he flipped us around, lifted my ass into the air, and fucked me hard. I kept silent and let him defile me until finally he seemed spent. I collapsed onto the bed, but Loki clucked at me.

“You haven’t gotten me off yet, sweetheart.” He informed me, his voice sounding smug.

“Maybe you’re gay.” I replied, my voice muffled by the comforter. I expected him to get angry again, to start to hit me and rape me again, but he only chuckled in response. I squeezed my eyes shut as he started to knead my breast again, and I could hear skin slapping and I realized he was probably jacking off. My nose scrunched up in disgust, he really did have to go a long time, didn’t he?

What felt like hours later he finally let out a breathy moan, and a gasp and I felt warm liquid go onto my neck. I winced, was he doing it right above me? This man was disgusting on all levels.

“Marissa.” He cooed, I ignored him, maybe if I kept my eyes shut and stayed on the bed, he might think I fell asleep.

“I know you’re not asleep, kitten.” Damn it.

“I want you to do one last thing before you go to sleep,” I opened an eye cautiously, and he grinned seeing me looking at him. “I want you to lick it up.” I let out a gasp in disgust, he only smiled wider and  sat back, watching me.

I just wanted this humiliation to be over with, so I cautiously bent my head and lapped up his juices. He praised me and pulled me to him, kissing me hard on the lips.

“I don’t think we established what to do though, since you accused me of being a homosexual.” I froze, shit.

His reached up and back handed me, when I didn’t fall to the side like he wanted, he slapped me harder on the other cheek. I cried out in pain, catching myself with my elbow. He slid off the bed and dragged me by my ankles down. I started to hyperventilate, struggling against his strong grip. He successfully got me to the edge of the bed and flipped me over roughly, I cried out. I heard his palm connect with my backside and let out a shriek of pain, my legs kicking up against the bed. He chuckled in response,

“How many should we do, huh my darling?” I didn’t respond, only began to sob against the comforter for the 500th time that night. He spanked me again, “Answer me whore!” He commanded,

“I don’t know, Loki! I’m sorry!” He laughed darkly and smacked me again.

“During punishments, I only want you to call me ‘master’ because you don’t deserve anything else.” I cried harder, he smacked me. “Say it! Say you don’t deserve anything else!” HE smacked me again, and I let out another loud sob,

“I don’t deserve anything else!”

“Good girl, now stop sobbing so loud, after each slap I want you to thank me.” I nodded quickly, he smacked me,

“Thank you!” I cried obediently, he hit me harder and I wailed.

“Thank who?” He boomed,

“M-Master! Thank you, Master!” He chuckled, and rubbed my bottom as a job well done. He smacked me again,

“Thank you, Master!”

Again,

“T-Thank you, Master!”

Again, “T-Thank y-you, Master!”

“T-T-Thank y-you, Mast-Master!”

Again and again he hit me until I was just a blubbering mess. He flipped me over, and my hands fell back on the bed like I was surrendering. He scanned my body, looking at past bruises and the new ones he added and smiled.

“One last thing.” He muttered, and his mouth landed on top of my collarbone where he grabbed my skin between his teeth and bit so hard I was sure he had torn the flesh. I screamed again, balling my hands into fists and hammering them against his back as he held my skin there for a minute, then released it and swirled his tongue around the new found love bite.

“Now we match, though I think mine’s a bit more stylish.” He said smugly, rising to full height. I curled myself in a ball as he pulled his clothes back on.

“I don’t want to sleep in this cum filled bed right now, stand up so I can send the sheets away.” He ordered, I tried to pull myself up, but then tremmored and collapsed. Loki let out a sigh of irritation and hauled me up and threw me over his shoulder. I heard a strange ‘pop!’ and angling my head I could see the blankets and sheets had been replaced by brand new ones. Loki threw me back onto the bed, and went to his side and go in.

I looked up at him nervously, and he raised his eyebrows. I took that as my cue, and dragged myself to the other side, as far as humanly possible to get away and not fall off the bed, and pulled the blanket over my naked, shivering body. He sighed in annoyance and I felt his arm curl around my waist and he pulled me to him. I sobbed against my pillow as he got himself comfortable, and put his nose right into my hair.

“Good night my darling.” He said sleepily, and went silent. And I was left alone to my tears and my everlasting pain, wondering and wishing, how it would ever stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KUDOS! COMMENT! GIVE ME FEEDBACK LOVELIES!


	7. Only a Rose could smell so sweet

I awoke by myself once again, blinking, I looked around, confused for a half second before I realized what state I was in. I looked over to the bedside table. I frowned, seeing a pitcher of water and a vase of flowers next to it. In front, a card rested against the pitcher, with delicate handwriting scrawled on the front. _Like I’m gonna go near that mess_. I thought to myself in irritation, and pulled myself out of bed, bracing myself for the soreness of my limbs that Loki must have caused last night.

To my surprise, there was none. I was fine. Puzzled, I lifted up the covers to look down at my hips, where I knew bruises would speckled, disguising my skin and making it look a complete different color than my usual pale complexion. But instead, I was left with nothing from the usual. Even the bruises from two days earlier had vanished, although there was a still disgusting purple bite on my collar bone, I realized with dread that Loki must have healed me besides right there, his mark. Almost a tattoo of his dominance of me.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I wrapped a sheet around my naked body and set out to find some sort of door out of the place. I opened the first one I found, my bare feet instantly chilled as they came in contact with the tile floor. I frowned, bathroom.

Backtracking, I tried another door. The floor was adorned with a soft rug and ahead it was pitch black. I squinted, and fumbled for a light. After realizing there would be no light switch, I stumbled back towards the bed, dismissing my heightened senses at being so close to the bed. I grabbed a candle that was already lit on the bedside table, and returned back to the darkened room. I noticed a window through the darkness, and hurried over, taking care not to accidently catch the drapes on fire or something. The room brightened instantly, and I set the candle on the window sill, my attention fixated on the room. In the center of the room was a sofa, and all around were dresses of every color and material. I noticed another door peeking out from between hangers and stole near it, running my hand along the cloth.

This one was filled with shoes. I gasped, hundreds of shoes. I was never a girl who particularly cared how many shoes I owned, but this was ridiculous. I stepped near some slippers that looked extremely comfy. I slipped it over my foot and was greeted by a perfect fit. I frowned, then slipped it off and tried on another, it also fit perfectly. My blood ran cold, I tried on more and more until I realized they were all my exact size. I stumbled backwards out of the room, almost tripping on my sheet in the process. I slammed the door shut, and then looked at the dresses surrounding me. I picked up one and dropped my sheet and threw the dress over my head, it too fit perfectly. I let out a huge gasp of air and collapsed onto the sofa behind me. I drew my knees to my chin, he must have measured me or something while I was sleeping.

He had planned this long enough to have all of these made for me.

I let out a pent up sob, clenching my fists so hard I might have been bleeding. I sat there, crying and shaking, until I heard a door open and footsteps in the other room. I jumped to my feet and rushed to the shoe room. Seeing another door I ran through it and was greeted with the sight of undergarments all hung up. I clapped a hand over my mouth to either keep from screaming or throwing up.

I went to the far end of the room and crouched down, hiding myself from view. I briefly considered just curling up in a ball and trying to suffocate myself, but I would probably fail and then Loki would find me. With one of the dresses he got me and no undergarments or shoes. That piqued my interest, and I listened for any sound of footsteps near me.

After deciding it was safe, I stood and searched for the plainest I could find. I put them on under my sapphire blue dress, and then went to the door and listened for any further activity. Deciding it was once again safe, I left the undergarment room and grabbed the comfy pair of slippers I had been eyeing earlier. I strode out of the shoe room, and hesitated at the dress room, before finally slamming the door open, fully ready to run if need be.

The room was empty. I sighed out of relief, I had been kidding myself to think I could deal with Loki. But I would rather I go up to him than be found. The pitcher of water on my bedside table had been replaced with a plate of food, my stomach rumbled, reminding me of how hungry I was. But I didn’t want to accept that monster’s food. I decided on trying to accomplish my earlier quest in finding a way out, and opened a few more doors until I finally found one that led to a hallway.

I looked both ways, before deciding to go right, and hoped I would run into a kindly servant that would help me out. I turned down more and more passage ways until I was sure I was lost. I had heard no word from anybody, and didn’t so much see a glimpse of any other life. Finally I gave up and just leaned against a wall and sank down, drawing my knees to my chest.

I didn’t want to cry again. It was all I had done for the past few days, but how could I not? I was becoming the definition of broken, if I ever got out of here…

 _If_.

The word sent chills down my spine, but it was true. Not only was I in an unknown place, but also an unknown planet. I was light years away from my home! If you could even call it that. I examined the half mooned imprints I had made on the palms of my hands. After what seemed like hours, I was getting quite bored. I didn’t want to think about what Loki had done to me, and was going to do me. It struck an icy sense of doom through my heart. I didn’t like how doom felt, I wanted to be hopeful, to be on a never ending quest for a way out.

I wondered if Thor could or would help me escape. I doubted it, it was his fault I was here in the first place. What did Loki even have against him that was more important than my life? I stopped myself from clenching my fists in anger, Thor had betrayed me. He knew what Loki would do to me, he knew and he brought me here and handed me over anyway. And for what? I couldn’t remember what Loki had said to him, probably because I was so scared and confused at the time I’m surprised I didn’t wet myself.

“Well how far can a mortal even get? Nobody has even seen her!”

“All I know is that if we don’t find her, this whole place will be torn apart.”

The other voice huffed, “all this trouble for a petty mortal. Both Loki and Thor have become obsessed with them! After all of the distress that’s been caused as a result of Midguardians, you would think they would let off.”

I breathed sharply, these approaching people would definitely bring me to Loki. Who by the sound of it, was _mad_. I jumped to my feet, wildly looking left and right, trying to decide which direction the voices were coming from.

“Have you even seen the girl? Does she look worth the trouble?”

“I—“ I turned and dashed wildly to the left, and my head came into contact with a hard chest, almost knocking me over if arms didn’t shoot out and grab my elbows, steadying me.

“Yes, I’ve seen her.” A tall man was holding my arms, looking at me up and down, while a small woman stood next to him, wearing a plain dress. I judged she was a servant and he was a guard. I attempted to yank my arms away, but the guard held on fast.

“Calm yourself, mortal. We will not hurt you.” He said, looking down at me curiously. I let out a strange sound and shook my head, desperately trying to free myself.

“We need to bring her to Loki immediately,” the servant said, elbowing his side. I let out a strangled cry and shook my head more furiously.

“No-no you can’t bring me to him, please!” I cried, struggling more. The guard tried his best to keep me still, but I fought as hard as I could.

“this is her?” She asked the guard, eyeing me distastefully. “Come on, stop messing about with her, and let’s attempt to get to Loki as swiftly as possible.”

I continued to plead with them as the guard dragged me down the hall, until finally he released one of my arms to muffle me with his hand. I considered biting his hand, but decided against it. I would need to save my bullets. I could see the servant getting more and more nervous as I fought, and the guard getting more and more irritated. I wasn’t all that convinced I’d escape today, but I certainly didn’t want to go back to _him_. Especially if he was angry, which there was no doubt he would be.

We turned another corridor and the maid opened a door and the guard pushed me in, releasing my mouth. I let out a yelp as I fell to my hands and knees.

“We found her, liege.” The guard grunted. I hesitantly looked up, to where Loki was standing by the fire. He turned, I could tell that he was definitely not happening me, although a small smirk graced his lips at seeing my place on the floor. I scrambled to my feet, and Loki raised a hand, dismissing the servant and guard.

He strode towards me, his eyes like green fire. I backed up until my back hit the wall, he caught up quickly and his hands went to my shoulders.

“What exactly were you trying to prove, leaving this room? The note explicitly stated you were not to be leaving.” He shook me through his shouting and I pushed myself further and further into the wall, trying to disappear.

“I didn’t read the note.” I hissed, attempting to make myself look strong. He frowned and released my shoulders and paced in front of me like an animal.

“I don’t know how I’m going to get it into your tiny head that you belong to _me._ ” He said, but he wasn’t looking at me. His hands were tangled in his hair. My eyes darted left and right, trying to find an escape route. “Do not try to convince me that you do not crave my touch, my dominance. You love the power I hold over you, it would be foolish to attempt to lie.” He finally faced me, putting his hands on either side of my face, making me feel like a caged animal. “You cannot lie to the God of Lies.” He hissed, his breath fanning over my face.

I said nothing, and looked away. His eyes flitted over my figure, and a satisfied smile played upon his lips. “Ah, you found your wardrobe. Was it tasteful enough for you?” He bunched the sapphire material in his hand, “I thought you might like this one.” He tugged at it and my breath hitched, “Although, I would prefer you wearing nothing at all.” My eyes went to his,

“No, please not again.” I whispered, barely being able to bring myself to speak. He just grinned and suddenly ripped the dress off my body. I think I might have screamed, he wrapped his arms around me and the littered my neck and shoulders with kisses. I sobbed against him, trying to wriggle free.

“You know, I do not believe I have had the chance to fuck you against the wall.” He said, his fingers dancing down between my legs. I shook my head against him, trying to break free. He released me, to start fumbling with his clothes. I used that time to duck away from him and run for the door.  He chuckled darkly and I heard metal clanking and looked over to see him stepping out of his pants calmly. I struggled with the door, and discovered it to be locked. I cried out and started to pound on it, screaming for help.

Loki sauntered over, in all his naked glory and ran his fingers up and down my body.

“I was thinking about you all day, my pet.” I sobbed as his finger flitted past my cheekbone. “Imagine my disappointment of finding the room empty, and the food I sent untouched. I was quite foolish to not ward the doors, I will give you that. But trust me that you will not come out of this room again until I am sure you will not try to escape again.” I sobbed again, and he yanked me sideways and then slammed my head into the wall next to the door.

I cried out in pain and white stars danced across my vision. “You will not defy me.” He snarled into my ear, and whipped me around to face him. I could not meet his angry gaze, my head felt a little light. I wanted more than anything to pass our so at least I wouldn’t have to be conscious for this ordeal. Although it sickened me to imagine him still having his way with my unconscious body.

He attacked my mouth greedily, taking all and giving none. I kept still, refusing to react in any way. He tweaked my nipple and cupped my ass with his other hand. He slid his hand down to the back of my thigh and pulled my leg up so it was at his side. I realized he wanted me to jump, I pondered an act of defiance, but before I had a chance to do anything he growled into my mouth and lifted me up himself, slamming my back into the wall.

I screamed into his mouth as he started to ready himself at my entrance. I curled my legs around his waist and brought myself as close to him as possible, so as to stop him from getting pleasure out of the situation, I’m not sure. Either way he groaned into my mouth and shoved himself in.

I sobbed and he leaned away to breathe and grabbed my hips, bouncing me up and down to meet his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to think about the pain or the humiliation. He moaned and groaned until finally he lifted me off and threw me to the ground. I screamed out in surprise and barely managed to hold out a hand to catch myself before I hit the ground.

He barely gave me a chance to recover and flipped me onto my stomach and pulled my ass into the air. He started thrusting into me from behind, reaching forward and squeezing my breast and moaning. My cheek was being scratched from some of the dirt on the floor, I could taste my own tears and blood from biting my tongue. I squeezed my eyes shut, a loud scream erupted from my lips as he grabbed my blonde hair and yanked it back.

“I want to hear your cries of pleasure tonight, harlot.” He snarled, wrapping my long hair around his hand. I was forced to hold myself up and arch my back, in an attempt to reduce the pain he was inflicting by ripping my hair.

He yanked it back again, snapping my head backwards, I cried out again. “Stop, stop please!” I begged, he grinned at me and pulled out. With my hair still wrapped around his hand, he tugged me to the bed. I stumbled, and followed him as best I could on my shaky legs. He finally released my hair and pushed me backwards so I fell back on the bed. I tried to flip myself over to crawl away, but he pinned me down by the elbows and eyed my already bruising figure. I could hardly contain my silent weeping and I tried to calm myself.

“When was the last time you have eaten?” He asked suddenly, I was taken aback. And struggled to remember, after only ten seconds of not speaking he shook me, “Answer!”

“I don’t remember!” I responded instantly, fearing the repercussions. He frowned, and straddled me. He started to toy with a lock of my hair, I shifted backwards, disgusted with the sudden gentle motions. At least when he was being rough and violent I had more and more reasons to dislike him. It was out of character for him to suddenly be intimate.

“You’ve always had such pretty hair.” He remarked, sliding the silky strand through his fingers. I looked away, unable to hold his gaze. “It’s a shame you haven’t been taking care of yourself these past few days. I would prefer you healthy and clean, but you haven’t even attempted to keep yourself hygienic.” I huffed, he jumped off of me and started to drag me towards one of the doors I remembered being the bathroom.

Images flashed through my mind of only two days earlier and what he had done to me in the bathroom. I cried and shoved against him as he brought us to the tub, which was mysteriously already filled with steaming water and rose petals. It looked like something you’d see a picture of in a magazine.

I banged against his chest with my fists until he captured my wrists. “Stop it, stop it!” He commanded, I quieted in my cries. “It is just a bath, contain yourself.” He ordered, and lifted me and gently placed me in the bath. “I don’t understand why it is so hard just to take a bath.” He muttered, taking some soap and washing my body. I wondered why he had halted in fucking me just to wash me. He began to wash my hair after successfully cleaning off my face and shoulders. He undid the knots and snarls in my hair gently, his long fingers massaged my scalp, and I leaned back and closed my eyes, beginning to enjoy it. I felt hands on the rest of the body and flinched, my eyes flew open to see him now washing the rest of my body.

I realized he had made copies of himself, but he was surprisingly gentle with the rest of my body, and I watched, fixated, as the bruises that were beginning to form disappeared after one of his hands swept over them. He started from my feet and up my thin legs. When he came to my clit, he washed the blood that had already leaked out of it onto the insides of my thighs. His fingers danced over my opening, and I shivered involuntarily.

I cursed myself and firmly put up my walls, trying my best to feel nothing. He cleaned the rest of my body, and his copy disappeared. He rinsed my hair and then started to enter the huge tub from the other side. I scrambled backwards and pulled my wet legs to my chest. He stalked towards me, the tips of his long black hair dripping from where it came in contact with the water.

“Please, no more.” I whispered as he reached me. He frowned, and pulled at my legs, I squeezed my eyes shut. He yanked my leg hard and I cried out, his green eyes searched mine.

“Why do you resist my touch?” He asked huskily, I gulped. “I can bring us both pleasure, yet you continue to be unwilling. If you would just submit—”

“I will not pretend to consent to you. You stole my virginity, you’ve murdered—” My words caught as I imagined Coulson’s lifeless body. “I don’t want pleasure, I want freedom.” His hand left my thigh to grab my throat and I yelped, though I was not surprised.

“You lie. You craved my touch while we were apart, I saw your sultry glances in the airplane to the helicarrier, and when you left that injured Midguardian to ‘check on me’,” He laughed, his grip loosening and his thumb beginning to trace patterns on my throat.  “You’ve been begging for my dominance, for me.” I shook my head,

“You’re crazy.” I whispered, his eyes hardened.

“Do not pretend!” His voice shook and his grip on my throat tightened, my eyes widened and I clawed at his hand, desperately trying to get air. “You will submit to me! You will learn to obey your king!”

“Loki-“ I faltered, dots came across my vision. He finally released me and I felt sideways to the side of the bath, heaving and trying to regain my breath.

                “Weak.” He spat in disgust, and stood up and wrapped a towel around himself. “Control yourself and come meet me in the bedroom.” He ordered without a glance my way, and left. I just sat there, until my breathing was back to normal and my heart was no longer beating erratically. I collapsed into the tub and let my head go under the surface, I wondered if I could just let myself drown, and end the nightmare.

                It’s not like I would have that many people to mourn me. Few would probably even know I was truly dead. Drowning wasn’t supposed to be all that horrible either, in the end, it should even be peaceful. I wondered if Phil felt peace when—

                 I sat up quickly, gasping for breath. I couldn’t think about that, what would Natasha think of me? Trying to give up? In the short time I knew her, I knew that she was a fighter. She would continue to battle, to search for a way out. I had to do the same, I was not my father, I wouldn’t just give up once I hit an obstacle in my path. I would be like my mother, I would make Agent Romanoff and Tony and Steve and Bruce and the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D proud.

                I stood up from the tub and grabbed another towel, it was soft and I immediately rubbed it against my cheek, marveling at how wonderful it felt. I heard Loki clear his throat outside, but I ignored him and took my time drying off my body and wringing out my hair. I readied myself to the best of my ability, and scrubbed my face once again.

                Finally, I opened the door, and almost walked right into Loki, fully clothed, who still had his hand up, poised to knock. He hesitated, then frowned when he saw my irritated expression.

                “I didn’t think you would take all day.” He said, irritated. I smirked,

                “I didn’t realize I was being timed.” I walked away from him and saw clothes meant for me on the bed. I turned and looked at him questioningly, his gaze was on my ass and I snapped my fingers, trying to regain his attention.

                “What are these for?” I questioned, a little confused.

                “Wearing” he replied shortly, his gaze now on my breasts. I huffed and turned around and grabbed the clothes, ready to go back into the bathroom.

                “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, crossing his arms.

                “To the bathroom to change.”

                “You can change here.” His tone was flat, I opened my mouth to disagree, and then shut it. _Save your energy, this is a battle you will not win._

                Maintaining eye contact, I dropped my towel and kicked it away. His gaze dropped from eyes to my body, and I could tell he was a little surprised. I set a hand on my hip and lifted his chin with my other hand. His eyes met mine again, and I could tell he was a little confused which made me feel satisfied. Despite the disgusted lurch in my stomach, I rose to my tippy toes and pressed my lips to his. He was frozen for a second, until he responded animatedly, and pulled my body to his. I could feel a bulge start to form in his trousers, and repressed a shiver as his hand slipped to my backside.

                His other hand started to knead my breast and I swept it away and broke the kiss by backing up.

                “Not now.” I said, trying my best to sound husky. His eyes glowed, and I began to dress before his watchful eyes.

                “You are a slippery wench, my dear.” He muttered as I tried to button my dress. I froze when his cold fingers moved mine away and finished buttoning it for me. I pulled my wet hair to one side and turned, meeting his eyes. “I know you’re planning something,” I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. “Don’t-I know. But it doesn’t matter,” He pulled me to him again, and I tried not to let out an involuntary yelp. “As long as you keep this up, my dear, you can attempt anything you like. But know that I will find out, or catch you, and I still will punish you.” With that proclamation, he pressed his lips to my frozen ones. He pulled away before I could recover and instead grabbed my hand.

                “We’ll finish this after dinner, you need to eat.” The pain in my stomach proved his words true, but I felt like I’d be giving up something if I ate. I didn’t know what was in Asgardian food, but then again, I doubted he would attempt to drug me. Anything he wanted from me, he had already taken or would have no problem taking. I would need to keep up my strength, both physically and mentally. I let him lead me out of the room, and he was so impatient to get to the dinner and get it over with, he didn’t notice me putting an occasional rose petal between the stones in the wall.


	8. Wine as red as Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super, super violent chapter guys. It was hard to write tbh. But finally, FINALLY I finished it. 
> 
> Also, read my oneshot if you haven't already!

I hadn’t realized _how many_ people were at this palace. The dining room must have been the same size as the bottom floor of my apartment building. I couldn’t help but gape at the gigantic tapestries that adorned the walls weaved with golden images of battle scenes and gods. Loki paid none of the extravagance any heed as he steered me by the elbow to our seats at the end of the table. We passed many other men and women who looked almost fearful of Loki.

A servant pulled back the seat I assumed as mine, I detached myself from Loki and took my seat and he stood in front of the seat to my left.

“Friends!” He called, raising a goblet, “Gods and noblemen of Asgard, I, your king, toast you for your unwavering loyalty to me as I took the throne. This feast is in your honor, and of course, my dearest friend of all, Lady Marissa.” I dropped the glass I had raised along with the rest of the people in shock. There were a few gasps and a couple of muted chuckles.

A servant leant over me and began to clean up the mess I had created while I sputtered out an apology. Loki chuckled, and raised his goblet higher to me, “to Lady Marissa, the most beautiful woman in the Nine Realms.” He tipped back his goblet and I stared in shock as the people repeated,

“Lady Marissa!” Raised their goblets to me, and then drank simultaneously.

Loki laughed merrily, and set his goblet on the table. “Let us feast, my friends! Let the wine flow freely along with laughter!” The crowd let out cries of approval or banged on the table with their forks. I was taken aback, not only by my address of “lady” but how boisterous the crowd was. When I thought of noblemen and women I thought of polite people but these were like the people at bars or clubs back on Earth.

I had never really enjoyed bars or clubs too much. I preferred the quiet of my dorm to the rambunctious men that hung around in the bars, whose method of greeting was a  slurred “Heyy there good lookin’”. I didn’t much like this either.

I almost jumped out of my seat when a man down the table suddenly threw down his goblet, shouting “another!” I noticed many other people do the same during the meal. It was transfixing, trying to understand their customs.

Loki was deep in conversation with a few gentlemen sitting on his side of the table. I didn’t really focus on their conversation, especially since a woman sitting a few chairs down had been a _falcon_ a few moments before. I stared at her; she might have been the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on. Also, there appeared to be a small being flying at her shoulder. She had a freaking fairy at her shoulder, which would sometimes perch on her shoulder and whisper something in her ear that would make her laugh.

The fairy fluttered around her food for a moment and the woman let it have one of her grapes without halting her conversation with the gentleman next to her. I was so hypnotized that I didn’t notice the fairy take notice of my gawking, and before I realized what was happening, it whispered something in the woman’s ear and she looked up and made eye contact with me.

I blinked, before snapping my head downward, my cheeks were burning. When I looked up again I saw she was chuckling at me. I managed a small smile,

“My lady, do I have something on my face?” She asked, grinning. I made a weird sound in nervous response.

“I’m so sorry, it’s just… were you just a falcon?” She smiled wider.

“You are from Midguard, am I correct?” I nodded, embarrassed. She grinned again, “I am Freya. I was indeed just a falcon; it comes from my falcon skin.” She gestured at the garment draped over her chair. “It’s a useful disguise I can say in the least.”

I wasn’t sure when I had started nodding, but after realizing it had been an awkward amount of time to just nod and say nothing I struggled to think of a way to keep a conversation going with this interesting woman. The name Freya had hit a memory and I strived to think of what it was.

Before I managed to say anything, the man between Freya and I said, “my Lady you must forgive me for my bluntness, but are all Midguardian women as…dazzling as you are?”

“Oh-oh my, um—“

“Freyr, if I had known you were so forward to the…special guest of the king I would have put you at the end of the table with some of the more available ladies.” Loki laughed, leaning over me to speak with the man. I swallowed and attempted to not fall back in my seat.

Freyr was apparently as scared as I was by Loki, he laughed nervously. “I meant no disrespect, your highness, I was only curious if the…beauty of your guest was custom for Midguardians or if she is a rare flower.”

Loki smiled, but I could see no humor in his eyes. “She is a rarity indeed, Freyr.” Suddenly he stood up,

“Friends! I hope your meal has been sufficient, but I must bid you all goodnight! My Midguardian guest does not have the stamina we proud Asgardians do.” He announced, chuckling, seizing my elbow and dragging me up to my feet. I held in a cry and looked over to Freyr and Freya for help, but they would not meet my eye.

“Goodnight!” Loki finished, and practically dragged me from the hall. I spluttered questions after him as we rushed through the halls, but he either didn’t hear me or more likely ignored me. When we arrived at his chambers he threw me in the room and shut the doors behind me.

I landed on the ground on my elbows and turned to him in confusion.

“Must you attempt to seduce every Asgardian in the room, are you not satisfied with being the consort of the king?” He spat, waving his cloak away. I scrambled to my feet, wiping my hands on my dress. This is not what I had planned, I had acted _perfectly_ and yet he was still angry at me for something that wasn’t even my fault?

“I wasn’t seducing anyone!” I said defensively, “he literally asked me a complimentary question that I had no way of anticipating! I didn’t even answer, what are you angry for?”

Loki glowered, and stepped towards me menacingly, I took a step back in fear. “Do not lie to me.” He growled, taking another step.

I threw up my hands, “Alright, whatever. Nothing I can say will deflate this anger so why don’t you beat me up and rape me again and get it over with? I’m done.”

His eyes widened at my words, I didn’t even have a chance to wonder about regretting them before he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I clawed at his hand, pulling away from him but he held on fast.

“Never speak to me in that way again.” He hissed, his eyes cold. I didn’t answer besides the high pitched whine in the back of my throat as managed to catch both of my elbows and hold me right in front of him.

“Do you see yourself as my equal, mortal? Do you think that your wit matches mine? Darling, you know _nothing_ in that puny brain of yours. You are just a petty mortal with a coward as a father and a filthy harlot of a mother.” My blood ran cold, “your father doesn’t even care that you’re gone. The biggest inconvenience he has right now is that the gifts sent in pity to him are running low. Your mother couldn’t even care anyway, she’s in the ground—“ I cried out, pushing against his chest.

“Oh did I get to you?” He smirked, “foolish Midguardian, you have no secrets with me. I know _everything_ about you. I even know that you almost had a sister, didn’t you?”

“Stop.” I whispered.

“What were you all planning to name her? Lilly? Lavender? Oh no, I remember. Lynette, isn’t that right?” Tears had sprung to my eyes and were now cascading down my face. Loki released one of my elbows to brush his thumb over my cheek. I looked away, but using his forefinger, he lifted my chin to stare him in the eye.

“Your mother died in childbirth, and the baby soon after. And it was such a shame, wasn’t it? To learn that she wasn’t even your father’s child. And wasn’t it just…just _heartbreaking_ to take a test a few years later, to learn he wasn’t even your father either?” I pushed him away forcibly.

“Stop it! Just stop it!” I cried, putting my hands over my ears and squeezing my eyes shut trying to shut out his slippery words and the painful memories they created.

“Darling, it must have been horrible for you to learn, even more so for your ‘father’. It was too bad really, for him to shut you out all that time. It must have been exciting when your father finally invited you to that party. You would be a family again.” I shook my head, trying to drown out his words.

“Except, he only invited you because he had no alternative. And when the first sign of trouble came, he left, didn’t he? He left you, in the dust, with a _killer_ in the midst.” I could hear his smile at the word and a shiver ran up my spine.

His cold fingers pried my hands from my ears, and he turned me to him. I looked up at him, he was blurry through my tears. He leaned forward, so his lips barely tickled my ear, “and you know what the absolute worst part was? You weren’t even surprised he left you.”

I cried out, and fell forward against him, he shushed me, and I could feel him petting my hair as I sobbed.

“We’re not that different, you and I.” He whispered as I wailed, “I-I understand how you feel.”

My eyes flew open and I shoved him away.

“You know _nothing_.” I snarled, my voice still a bit strangled, “we are _not_ the same.” He frowned.

“I also do not know my father!” I stepped backwards, “I also have been mistreated by the man that still called himself that though! You and I were cut from the same cloth, darling.” I shook my head.

“Except I didn’t use my past as a tool to hurt people!” I responded fiercely. “I picked myself up, I decided to make something of myself. You are still whining about whatever happened, and you even had to take over your father’s kingdom just to try to feel justification!” He looked taken aback. “Yes, I’m not some foolish ‘Midguardian’, Loki. I put the pieces together. Despite what you have made yourself believe, _none of this_ is justified. You are just a piece of shit that wants to be like his brother.”

We both stood there, breathing heavily. Loki’s face betrayed no emotion. After moments of our stare down, he finally spoke.

“It appears no amount of… physicality will break your spirit, my love.” I backed away from him uneasily. “I have underestimated you, and for that I apologize. But you will break, and you will be begging me for my touch soon enough.” I scoffed, but nervousness caused my hands to shake.

He started to mutter words that I couldn’t understand, I tipped my head, and then all of a sudden my world went black.

***

                I awoke with a start to the sound of my alarm. I groaned and smacked the top of it, only hoping I managed to hit the off button. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, before sighing and standing up, stretching.

                “Vas!” I said in a tired voice over my shoulder as I went into the bathroom, “can you put on the coffee, I need to take a shower.” I yawned, I didn’t hear her reply, but I knew she’d comply anyway.

                I let the hot water wash over my skin and attempted to unknot my hair with my fingers. I cursed myself for not brushing it before I got in the shower, but finally with a mixture of a bunch of shampoo and conditioner and a little hard work I got it untangled.

                I dried myself off before wrapping my robe around myself and threw my hair up in a messy bun. I yawned again and left the bathroom to change and when I finally got to the kitchen I sorted through the mail I had ignored the day before. Setting aside some bills with a sigh, I lifted a letter from my father with a smile and ripped it open. The card was lime green with white lettering. _Happy Birthday_ it said on the front, I grinned and opened it. A gift card almost slipped out and fell to the ground, but I caught it thankfully.

                _Hope it was a good one!_ It continued on, I skipped to my father’s messy handwriting at the bottom. _Mar, happy 18 th birthday! Sorry that I can’t make it up there, just a bit swamped down here at work. But I hope you can use the card to buy yourself something nice! Sincerely, dad_.

                I closed the card, throwing it on the table before running my hand through my wet hair. Whatever, it wasn’t that bad he couldn’t come up. It was pretty crazy at his work, I couldn’t blame him.

                I looked over at the counter to see the coffeepot still empty. I frowned, “Vas?” I called, “Vas, I thought you were going to make coffee? Well, don’t worry about it, I’ll do it.” She didn’t respond, I looked over at her bedroom door, that was ajar. My roommate was usually bustling about the kitchen right now. She was always in a hurry, always late, it made my morning. Although it was a bit mean of me to enjoy her stressed face, I couldn’t help it.

                She had gone out late with her boyfriend last night. I was asleep by the time she got back, what if something bad had happened between them?

                “Vas?” I called again, walking towards her room, “Vas, are you okay? Do you want to talk?”

                She didn’t answer, I opened her door more and peered in. Her curtains were closed so it was a bit dark. I waited for my eyes to adjust, she wasn’t on her bed. She wasn’t—I froze. I saw something red right in front of her bed.

                I flicked on the switch, scanning the room nervously. “Vas? Are you even here?” I asked the empty room. I stepped in awkwardly, looking around. I inspected the red stain in front of her bed, this couldn’t have been there before, she would never let a stain adorn her perfectly clean carpet. I looked around again, to see her closet doors open.

                Maybe she hadn’t come in at all last night, but I could have sworn before she went while she was getting ready she had closed the closet doors. Maybe she came in and left super early? Maybe she only came in to grab some clothes for tomorrow.

                I would have just left it at that and left the room, if it wasn’t for the similar red stain which seemed to be leaking from the closet doors. My heart started beating erratically for no reason, I attempted to calm my irrational fears and crept towards the closet. My hair stood up on the back of my neck and my palms began to sweat, every particle of my body seemed to know something I didn’t and was _screaming_ at me to leave it. But obviously I had never been good at following my gut instinct.

                I opened the closet door and a body nailed to the door swung open with it.

                I screamed and ran backwards, crashing into her bureau and falling onto my ass. I scrambled away from the body, still shrieking. But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. Her dress from the night before was ripped and bloody, and her head was hanging down in front of her chest. Her usual ebony hair was torn out in a few clumps and sticky with blood and sweat. I couldn’t even move as I took in my roommate’s form.

                And then her head lifted and empty eye sockets stared right back at me.

***

                “Oh my god, guys! She’s in here!” I looked up from my book to see Tony staring at me incredulously. My jaw dropped,

                “Tony!” I cried, throwing down my book and attacking him with a hug. “Is it you, are you real? What are you doing here, where are the others? Did you find Thor? What about Lo—“

                “Whoa, whoa slow down, Mar. Don’t worry about any of that right now, we’ve got to get you back.”

                “Back, back home?” The idea seemed foreign to me, I looked up at him. “Oh my god, oh my—“ I had to brace myself and take deep breaths, Stark patted my back awkwardly. I heard him gasp when he moved some of my hair off my neck,

                “Fucking shit!” He swore, I looked up at him. His eyes softened,

                “I’m so sorry we couldn’t prevent this, Mar. I can’t even imagine—“

                I waved my hand, “Let’s just get out of here. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Stark nodded seriously, it was then that three other people stumbled into the room.

“So that’s her?” I turned around, Steve, Natasha, and some other dude were staring at me.

I breathed and ran right into Steve, almost knocking him over. “You’re all okay!” I cried, Natasha smiled and nodded, reaching out to put a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m so glad we found you.” She said warmly, before turning to Stark. “We’ve got to move, The hulk is tearing up the south end of the palace but we can’t find a trace of him anyway. Thor is already on the move to recreate the portal, we’ve got about five minutes.” Stark nodded,

                “You in any condition to run, Mar?” Tony asked me, I nodded.

                “I-I think so, yeah.”

                “I’m not sure, if you think her neck looked ghastly, metal man, you should see the insides of her legs.” We all whipped around to see Loki striding in, smiling. My heart plummeted and I scrambled to get in front of my friends, but Steve caught my elbow and put me behind him.

                “You’ve lost, Loki. You have no advantage, give us one reason we shouldn’t kill you right now.”

                The guy I didn’t know pulled back an arrow and aimed it at Steve, Tony’s helmet went on and he aimed all of his guns at him, Natasha pulled back in the defensive position next to Steve. Loki simply laughed,

                “Yes, but you see. I haven’t lost.” He boasted, grinning. “Just hand the girl over to me, and I might even  let one of you live.” He jerked his chin at Natasha, “you would really spice up my and Marissa’s endeavors—“

                “You son of a bitch, it’s taking a lot of willpower to not just cut your throat here and now.” Natasha growled.

                Loki just chuckled, “don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He sang.

                I heard the roar first. The floor shook, and one of the candles clattered to the ground. Suddenly, the door was torn off of the wall. A large green hand reached in and grabbed the arrow man first. Natasha screamed as it threw the man against the wall and we could all hear a sickly crack.

                “NO!” She screeched and ran towards him. “Clint, Clint are you okay?”

                “Doctor Banner, come to your senses! It’s us we mean you no harm!” Steve called to the green monster, he walked over with his hands raised, the monster roared again.

                “Come on, my dear. I don’t think you’ll want to see this.” I shrieked as Loki whispered in my ear, Steve turned to see what had happened and it was then that the green hand emerged again and easily smashed him against the nearby wall.

                “Steve!” I cried, the hulk smashed him against the other wall and then threw him at Clint and Natasha. Natasha looked up, horrified.

                Stark raised his guns. “Bruce! It’s us, stop! I don’t want to hurt you.” The monster roared again, my fists clenched. “Bruce! Please, try to think!” The monster roared and then broke through the door completely, barreling at Stark. Tony began to shoot but it didn’t even seem to make a dent.

                “Stark go!” I cried, but Loki smashed a hand over my mouth.

                The hulk grabbed stark and ripped the metal from his body. I watched in horror as he flipped him over and smashed him headfirst into the floor. I screamed and tried to rip myself from Loki who was making me _watch_.

                All of a sudden, Loki’s arms around me were torn away. I whipped around to see Natasha tackling him, her thighs around his neck.

                “You son of a bitch!” She screamed, pulling his hair backwards. After a moment’s struggle Loki managed to tear her off of his shoulders and throw her to the ground.

                “Natasha!” I shouted, but neither of them heard me as Natasha flipped over before Loki could kick her and grabbed his ankle, pulling him down and springing to her feet as he crashed to the ground. She grabbed one of his arms and twisted it behind his back, her knee right on his spine.

                “What the fuck did you do, you monster!?” Her voice shook on the last word. Even though Loki was in quite the precarious position, he smiled.

                “It would have been disappointing if you hadn’t managed this fight, Natasha.” She growled and dug her elbow into the back of his neck.

                “You’re going to die today, you son of a bitch.” She snarled, we must have both forgotten about the Hulk because all of a sudden a green fist punched her off of Loki. I screamed but Loki called,

                “Stop, I will finish this one myself.” He strode over to where Natasha was dry heaving on the ground, blood dripping from her lips. I was frozen in fear, Loki picked her up by her hair and slammed her into the wall.

                Natasha growled and attempted to bite his arm, but Loki foresaw the even and with his other arm grabbed her neck.

                “No!” I cried, Loki’s hand tightened around her throat until Natasha made spluttering sounds, her hands clawing at his. Loki lifted her against the wall and Natasha’s feet kicked out.

                “Let her go!” I pleaded, running up to him and pulling on his arm. Loki pushed me away, I scrambled to my feet and attempted to pull him down again but Loki grabbed my wrist and cracked it to one side.

                I screamed and fell to the ground, holding my wrist.

                Natasha’s eyes were on mine when she stopped fighting. Her eyes were on mine when her arms fell to her sides limply. Her eyes were on mine when her face went from blue to completely pale.

                “No,” I moaned, sobbing as Loki dropped Natasha like a piece of trash. And kicked her aside, disgusted. I cringed as he stepped around me to address the panting Hulk.

                It was then that I realized its eyes were blue.

                Loki reached up with his spear and tapped the center of his chest. The hulk shrank and shrank until it was just Bruce, lying on the ground in some over sized shorts.

                “Dr. Banner.” Loki said, Bruce looked up, blinking. When he saw who was talking to him he jumped to his feet, forgetting about his shorts. He looked down and blushed and I averted my eyes, cradling my wrist to my chest.

                “Dr. Banner, look what you’ve done to your friends.”  I heard him gasp and a choked cry of shock escape his lips and I let out a sob. “You did this, you killed all of them. Except Natasha, I’ll give you that, that was me.”

                “You bastard!” I screamed, I opened my eyes to see all the blood drained from Bruce’s face. “You-You—“ I caught sight of some of the bodies and had to squeeze my eyes shut.

                “I hope you enjoyed the last moments of your pathetic and murderous life, Dr. Banner.” Loki said, my eyes flew open.

                I screamed, “NO!” As Loki drove Bruce through with his spear. I collapsed onto the ground again, Bruce didn’t even look angry. Everything was already gone from his eyes as he realized he had taken the lives of his only friends.

***

                “Dad?” I called, entering the apartment. “Dad, I couldn’t find the type of popcorn you wanted, so I just got extra butter instead, is that okay?”

                I sidestepped a few books that had found their way to the floor and made my way to the kitchen, grocery bags were cutting into my arms.

                “I also got some more of that pomegranate stuff we both like if that’s okay. It was on sale and I couldn’t resist. Don’t worry, we can go for a run tomorrow if you’re worried, I have a two hour delay from school tomorrow anyway.”

                I released the bags on the table and grabbed the milk. I was putting it in the fridge when I finally heard another sound around the house.

                “Dad, I need your help putting away the groceries! Last time you made me do all of it, and I don’t feel like doing that again. C’mon.”

                There was no response. I angrily shut the fridge door and walked out of the kitchen, looking for my father. “Dad?”

                Was it possible he wasn’t even home? He might’ve gone to the library or something, or maybe he forgot I was doing the grocery shopping and went for himself.

                I tiptoed to his room and knocked lightly. When there was still no response I opened the door quietly.

                I could only see his back when I walked in. I sighed, “Dad, c’mon, don’t be lazy.” He didn’t respond again, worry started to creep into my veins.

                “Dad? Are you okay?” I crept towards him, his head was on his desk and beer bottles were littered around him. “Dad?”

                I touched his shoulder timidly, he stirred and sat up. When he saw me he jumped and almost fell out of his chair.

                “Dammit, Marissa. You almost gave me a heart attack.” He snapped, righting himself. I swallowed and looked away.

                “Sorry, it’s just I need help putting away the groceries—“

                “I’m tired, can’t you do it yourself?” He sighed and reached for one of the bottles, tilting it back and downing its contents he said, “and you had to wake me up too. Fine ‘daughter’ you are.” He chuckled to himself. My heart started to beat faster,

                “Dad, what are you talking about.” I said slowly, stepping away from him. His head snapped over to me and he glared, “Oh please, like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I found your DNA test you took a couple of years ago, Marissa. I found it in your room last night.” It felt like the world had stopped, everything was still as I realized that he _knew_.

                “I’m so sorry,” I said in a broken voice, “dad—“

                “Don’t call me that!” He snapped, standing up so quickly his chair tipped over. I let out a broken sob.

                “Please, don’t—“

                “Where even were you last night? I bet you were whoring around just like your mother did.” I gasped, taking a step backwards.

                “Dad—“

                “Bitch I told you not to call me that!” He roared, stalking towards me and grabbing me by the hair. I cried out, trying to push him away from me.  
                He had never spoken to me this way before. He had never, _ever_ laid a hand on me. This was so unlike him.

                “Let go of me, please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

                “You’re sorry about what?” He said in an angry voice, “that your slut mother lied to us? You’re sorry that you never told me and you lied to me, just like her?!” He pushed me to the ground and I landed on my elbows, crying.

                “It’s not my fault, I’m sorry!”

                “Oh excuses, excuses. You are _just_ like your whore mother!” He snarled, grabbing my by the elbow and hauling me to my feet.

                “It’s fitting really, you got her looks and her whore personality. Well let’s see just how much you resemble your mother, huh?!” He dragged me over to the bed. I started to sob and fight his hands,

                “What are you doing? Dad, stop please, dad!” He threw me onto the bed and started to pull off my skirt. I struggled against him, but the alcohol on his breath made him strong too. Just as he was pulling the skirt off my feet I managed to kick him right under the chin.

                I escaped his grasp and ran out of the room in my underwear. I stumbled down the stairs and ran into the kitchen, my father swearing and hot on my heels.

                I darted into the kitchen and grabbed at the first thing I could, I swung around to meet him, pointing a long wooden spoon at him.

                “Don’t come any closer.” I warned, my voice cracking. He chuckled at my weapon,

                “Honey, I thought that at least I _taught_ you to be smarter than this. Although, I guess you didn’t get my intelligent genes now did you? You didn’t get any of my genes.” I let out a broken sob, and he took the chance to grab the spoon and pull me toward him. I pushed him away and went backwards, until I hit the counter.

                He caged me in, his breath smelled like liquor. I cried as his hand slid down my waist, I reached behind me, and grabbed the first thing I came into contact with. I thrust it forward and got him in the chest just as his fingers were itching towards my bum.

                I stepped away horrified as I realized it was a knife. He looked down at the object protruding from his chest in confusion. Before looking up at me and collapsing to the ground. I shrieked and ran away, my hand over my mouth.

                “No, no! I didn’t mean to!” I cried, falling to my knees in front of him. “Please, no!” I cradled his head in my lap. “Dad, dad wake up! Please, please wake up!”

                I sobbed against his hair, just wishing that his eyes would open and everything would magically be okay.

***

                “Stop!” I screamed, my hands over my ears. “No more,” I begged, looking up at Loki. “No more, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry just make it stop!” Loki stepped forward and I fell into his chest. “Just make it stop.” I pleaded quietly, my hand clenched around his tunic. He shushed me and began to pet my hair as I sobbed into his chest.

                “Shh, shh. It’s okay, I’m here now. It’s all over.” He assured me, it didn’t occur to me, how strange it was that I was seeking comfort from the man who had created the visions that had caused me so much horror and so much pain.

                Loki kissed the top of my head, I let out a couple more half hearted sobs before managing to quiet my cries.

                “There, there little one.” He pulled back to look me in the eye, “let’s just go to bed, yes?”

                “It-It wasn’t real.” I whispered, he nodded, and led me towards his bed.

                “It wasn’t real.” He assured me, he pulled me to him in the bed. And for the first time since I had gotten there, I fell asleep right away in my kidnapper’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a super hard chapter to write, I'll admit. Please comment what you thought!  
> Do you think that she has broken yet? What do you think will happen next?
> 
> Thank's so much for reading! I super duper love you all!
> 
> Also, I have a tumblr: Callmerose. Follow me for updates on chapters, other stories, and possibly some sneak peeks later on!


	9. Daily Rituals

I’m not sure how long I’ve been here. One day seems to just melt into the next in this palace. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been allowed out of the room since dinner that night. It doesn’t help that I haven’t looked out a window or seen the outdoors since my time on earth. It doesn’t help that I haven’t had a conversation that does not end with me screaming or crying at the end of it. It doesn’t help that I’m stuck in this one room with a silent maid and a murderous god for company when they do show up. It doesn’t help that every time I go to sleep and wake up I feel like I’m losing another part of myself and I fear the day when I wake up and can’t even remember my will to fight.

                He still beds me. Every night, and really any other time he finds me appealing. A look will cross his gaze and he will be on me, scratching and pushing until he finishes and leaves me on the floor, the bed, the chair, the bathtub, crying or lately, just lying still. Lately he’s been testing new ways to break me, new ways to watch me crack and fall to pieces so that he can be the one to put me back together.

                He recently has been trying to get me to enjoy his touch. He’ll nip and squeeze and be _gentle_ and it hurts more than when he’s biting and clawing because at least then I can distinguish the horror of rape from the joy of sex. He’s been trying to draw out an orgasm with every method necessary, but I will not let him take this from me. He has taken every single part of me, chewed it up, and spat it back out. Everything that could possibly be taken from me _he has taken_. I won’t let him take this from me.

                I have nothing else to defend, I have no way of escaping, and no way of defying him except with this tiny part of me. I want to remind myself of who I am, so that one day I won’t wake up having forgotten.

                I have already forgotten pieces of my past. I can’t remember what my room looked like. I can’t remember the last digit of my phone number. I can’t remember who the last person I spoke to when I was normal. And Loki. He is all that I know.

                Every part of my life is being spent in service to him. I have to wash my face and put on clothes every day for his benefit. I have to eat and bathe so that I won’t get sick and cause anything inconvenient for him.

                I avoid bathing at all costs. He loves it best right after I bathe. He loves to rub his cheek against my clean skin and inhale the rose smell in my hair. He loves to rub his hands over my cold damp skin and suck on my wrinkled finger tips. I’d rather sit in my own filth than have him touching and feeling me.

                It’s worse sometimes when I don’t wash myself. Sometimes he’ll just pick me up, clothes and all, and toss me into the tub and rub my skin raw despite my tear filled protests. He’ll shove my head underwater and scrape at it too. He’ll rip my head out of the water just as I feel I’m about to faint by my hair and then throw me out of the tub. He’ll stand over me like a terrifying god, so full of cold wrath that I fear to look up.

                Sometimes I haven’t even done anything when he gets angry. I could be sitting on the edge of the bed brushing my hair when he’ll suddenly snap and scream at me for getting a hair on his blankets. And then he’ll grab me by the back of the neck and drag me to him and squeeze my arms and legs and neck and he is no longer a god but the devil in a dark fury who doesn’t even bother to take off my dress before he just pushes into me.

                I find myself doing everything I can to avoid his anger. I clean up the socks he leaves on the floor incase he’ll blame me. I now bathe any chance I get when I know he won’t come in soon so my hair will dry and I won’t give off the appearance of just being washed, but I also won’t be dirty enough that he’ll get angry. I make the bed in the morning and I make sure I look presentable every day.

                I avoid topics such as my kidnapping, Earth, the Avengers, his father, Thor, any other man, or just anything that might set him off. When I do slip up, when I let my own anger get the better of me and shout back at him, or defy him openly he’ll beat me, rape me, hurt me and then when I finally fall asleep plague me with horrifying nightmares and dreams that I have to watch people I love being killed, hurt, raped, or even hurting _me._

                But he also has been rewarding me for my good behavior. I’m allowed books now, and the fireplace is always lit with comfortable chairs next to it where I can curl up and read for the day. The maid brings me tea and other delicacies that make me quite comfortable. I got the message, act respectfully and I’ll be rewarded, disobey and he’ll make my life living hell.

                He still needed a punching bag, so he allowed me to act out when he attempted to bed me. He liked when I fought and thrashed, for some reason it excited him. I played my part well, I screamed at the right moments and cried too.

                But today I think I went too far when I accused him of being just as cold hearted as his father when he had cornered me.

                He froze, his hand that was creeping towards my thigh stilled and Loki’s cold eyes didn’t move from mine. I opened my mouth to beg for forgiveness, that I just had gotten lost in the moment. But he didn’t give me a chance, his fingers wrapped around my throat and lifted me against the wall.

                “What do you know, Midguardian whore?” He seethed, his fingers tightening. My eyes were wide and my nails clawing at his hands, my feet kicking the wall behind me.

                “Do you really believe that you mean anything to me? I enjoy breaking you pet, but don’t think that this will stop me from snapping that pretty neck of yours.” Tears ran down my cheeks as I struggled for breath. “I would enjoy hearing the snap of your bones, I would enjoy seeing the light leave your eyes as you realize that you mean nothing to me. As you realize that your pathetic life would end from my hands, that everything was taken from you _by me_.”

                I stopped clawing at his hands and let my hands fall to my sides, my head felt so light and I closed my eyes, ready to give up. So this was how it would end? From some bitter words and Loki’s fear and hatred of his upbringing? I wished it could have ended more heroically. I wished that it could have been me attacking Loki and saving some people,  that I could have done something good other than serving as his slut and punching bag. That SHIELD and the Avengers would think back on me fondly, remembering the girl who had given up everything to keep her people safe. And to thank me for what I had done. Instead they would pity me.

                Those who would remember me would pity the girl who had been chosen by a mentally deranged alien. They would pity the girl who no one had bothered to save, who hadn’t bothered to save herself.

                My eyes shot open and my foot came out and connected with Loki’s ribcage with a loud CRUNCH. Loki released me immediately falling backwards from the force of the kick. I crumpled to the ground with a hand on my throat, wheezing and gasping for breath.

                I looked up, to see Loki curled up in a ball on the ground, groaning. I tried to stumble to my feet, but fell. I attempted again, but failed. I had to resort to half crawling, half dragging my oxygen-deprived self to Loki’s form.

                “My lord,” I said breathlessly, putting my hand over his shoulder, but not allowing myself to touch him. He moaned. I choked on a sob, pulling my hand back and fisting the neckline of my dress instead. “ My Lo-Lord what’s wrong?”

                He pulled his head up, glaring at me through half closed eyes. “What. Did. You. Do?” He hissed. I swallowed another sob, shaking my head.

                “I-I don’t know! I just-I just thought you were going to kill me and—“

                “Fool!” He spat, I scrambled backwards and he rose to his feet. Wincing slightly and putting a hand to his ribs. He looked down at it in bewilderment. “How did you even manage to do so much damage, mortal?”

                I shook my head, dragging myself backwards. “I was just scared, I swear! It won’t happen again!”

                “Did you really think I would kill you? What would be in the point of that after going through so much trouble to get you here?” I shook my head,

                “I do not know, please forgive me!” I begged, my back hit a chair or table or something and I couldn’t help but let out a screech in pain and surprise as Loki continued to advance.

                “After everything I’ve done?” He asked, stopping at my feet and peering down at me. “After everything I’ve done for you, you still fear me?” I shook my head furiously.

                “No, no, _please_.” He bent down and grabbed my elbow, yanking me to my feet. I started to sob, pulling on his hand.  “Let me go, don’t, don’t _please_.”

                Loki stopped abruptly and whirled around and I almost crashed into him. “Well which would you rather?” He asked, I swayed, still sobbing and trying to process his words.

                “Wh-What?” I asked timidly through my tears. Loki made an impatient noise and snatched my hair, pulling it up and smiling while I screamed.

                “Which would you rather, whore?” He bellowed, yanking my hair for emphasis. “Would you rather endure my touch, or suffer the dreams of your oh-so- _precious_ Earth again?” He spat bitterly. I continued to sob and shake my head, he pulled my hair backwards so my head was tilted up, I whimpered.

                “Answer me!” He demanded, I swallowed my cries, but my lower lip still trembled.

                “I don’t—“

                “Choose, or I will choose for you. It’s a generous offer really, allowing you to choose your fate.” I shuddered at the thought of both punishments.

                “I-I—“

                “You are so pathetic.” He spat, releasing my hair and pushing me to the ground. I cried out when I came into contact with the cold stone of the floor.

                “All you do is cry and beg, I have to wonder what the point of you is anymore.” He mused, walking around me. I pulled myself up so I was on my knees and folded my hands and let my head fall so my hair covered my face.

                He hated it when I did it, I felt him fall to his knees in front of me, and he tilted my chin up so my hair fell back again and I could look him in the eye. He studied my face and I remained impassive, his thumb ghosted over my cheekbone.

                He released me and fell back, his eyebrows raised. “What is it about you that makes you worth keeping?” He asked, I struggled to not let him see my reaction. I didn’t want him to see how his words affected me. “Why do I even bother keeping you alive?” He questioned again, trying to goad me. I looked away letting my shoulders sink in defeat.

                “I do not know, my lord.” I whispered. I could hear the smile of victory in his voice,

                “So what do you choose?” I looked back up at him slowly, mulling over my next words carefully.

                “I want you to…just kill me already.” I couldn’t force my voice to be any louder than a whisper. But my words still caused the affect I desired. Loki visibly flinched as it sunk it.

                “Ex-Excuse me?”

                “I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to play your petty games anymore. Since going home is out of the question I want the next best thing, _I just want to die_.”

                He was taken aback. He hadn’t expected my response at all, he looked around incredulously, as if searching for someone else to deal with me. He looked back at me, looking just as surprised and confused as before.

                He closed his eyes, “so this is your next method of trying to leave me? To die? To just give up?” He looked back up at me, his lips curled into a sneer of disgust. “My dear, I must admit your passion and fight was what brought me to you in the beginning. Your loss of will is most…disappointing. I didn’t think you would be so easy to break—“

                “You haven’t broken me!” I shouted, furiously jumping to my feet. All of the fear and submission leaving my body in one shout of courage. “That’s what you find most alluring, that’s why I’m still alive. Because _I haven’t broken_. You can beat me, give me nightmares, render me useless to distinguish reality from fiction. But I still have this fire inside of me, _Loki_. I want you to kill me because it would mean you’ve lost your easiest and hardest war yet.

                “Breaking me won’t fill the emptiness inside of you, keeping me won’t fill it either. _Nothing will._ And my death will only be yet another being leaving you.”

                “Shut up!” He demanded, jumping to his feet as well.

                “Because that’s what you fear, isn’t it. _Loneliness_. Well I’m not the cure for it, but my death will only hurt _you_ more. Because at least when I die, I’ll be happy. But you will still be miserable, even when you’ve finally overthrown the allfather. Even when Thor is just a slave to your wishes. Even when you have all the vengeance you could have possibly wanted, _because this won’t solve anything and you have realized that_.”

                “I SAID TO BE SILENT!” He shouted, his hand came out, ready to hit me and cause me to crash to the floor. But I caught his wrist before he could do so. I held my grip fast and bent it to the other side until I heard a crack and Loki screamed in agony.

                I blinked and released him immediately, almost tripping over myself to back away. My hand flew to my mouth as I watched Loki stare at his wrist, then look back up at me, his eyes wide with wonder.

                “ _Who are you_?” He whispered, I shook my head, breathing heavily. He blinked, looking back down at his wrist. He whispered an incantation and I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the bones crack as they went back into place. Loki hissed in pain, I opened one eye, and he placed his hand over his ribcage and whispered the incantation again.

                He finally looked up at me. “Y-You are no mere mortal.” He breathed. I let my hands lower,

                “It was probably just adrenalin—“

                “No. It was not.” He took a deep breath, “you-you are one of the brightest mortals of your age. You helped the doctor in his lab for Odins sake!” He looked up at me, “and there has been too many coincidences. You entered that alley when I did, you were in just the right position in the museum…you just happened to be the one searching for Coulson.” I felt a stab of pain and I took another step backwards, swallowing. “You were able to kick me back several feet, all the while on the brink of death, and now. Now you’ve managed to snap my wrist.”

                “It-It doesn’t mean anything.” I whispered.

                “Who is your father?” He asked abruptly, “did you ever find that out? Did you ever find out who your father really was?”

                I inhaled sharply, Loki huffed impatiently. “Answer me now!” He demanded, “have you been lying to me this whole time of your identity?”

                “N-No! I’m from Earth! I’m not-not whatever the hell you seem to think I am! Just because I managed to get one over on you—“

                “Do not test me! _What_ are you?!” I reached up and clutched the back of my hair in angst, swallowing the urge to just scream in anger.

                “I’m perfectly normal!” He shook his head and I whimpered as he reached forward and pulled my hair back, exposing my face and neck to him. I stayed silent as he studied me, trying my best to convey just how normal, just how _human_ I was. He had finally lost it. He was probably just so embarrassed that I, a mortal woman, was able to fight back and _win_ for once.

                Loki let out a huff of defeat and pushed me backwards, I stumbled and hit the table before catching myself.

                “Take off your clothes” he demanded in an almost bored tone. I hesitated a mere second before he snapped, “do you really wish to anger me further, kitten? _Take off your clothes_.” My fingers fumbled as I clumsily unknotted the laces of my dress.

                Loki allowed me to clumsily attempt to remove my dress before he let out an impatient sigh and ripped my dress off angrily. I couldn’t help but let a squeak of surprise emit from my throat as I looked up at him timidly.

                He smirked at my naked form, his eyes on my bare breasts. I bit my lip, fearing what was coming next.

                Loki reached up and let his thumb ghost over my nipple, I flinched as he pinched one and he smiled at my reaction. He leaned forward and captured my already bruised lips in his and lifted me into his arms at the same time, bringing us undoubtedly to the bed.

                He released me and I landed with a bounce onto the mattress. He remained standing and beckoned me closer. Afraid of his irritation I obliged and scurried forward, he freed his cock from his trousers and waited expectantly. I knew what he wanted, and with little hesitation I ran my fingers up his shaft.

                He threw his head back and I took that as my cue to take him into my mouth. One of my hands continued to fondle his sack and caress the rest of his shaft that couldn’t fit into my mouth comfortably and the other to guide him into my mouth as I suckled and licked in the ways I knew he loved. Loki groaned as I flicked my tongue over that one spot and grabbed my hair forcing me to take more of him. I let out a squeak of protest as he forced himself deeper into my throat, my hands fluttered about as I tried not to push him away. He continued to fuck my face until I felt close to fainting and only when I feared I could take no more he pulled out.

                I gasped for breath, but Loki gave me little time to adjust before he tipped me backwards by the legs and pushed his full length into me.

                I covered my pained scream with my hand as Loki started to fuck me like we were being timed. My knees were bent awkwardly over his elbows and my head was being dragged up and down on the covers from the power of his thrusts. I started to cry again as whispered dirty things to me. His nails were dug into the sides of my thighs and I would have feared the bruises that would show tomorrow if I didn’t know that he would remove them at night.

                Finally his thrusts turned sloppy and he spilled his seed into me. He pulled out of me after a moment and backed up, dropping my legs. My knees hit the side of the bed, but I just laid on the bed, panting and sniffling.

                I heard him moving about the room, a few minutes later he lifted me from the bed and carried me bridal style to the bathroom. We repeated the ritual of him washing me and removing my bruises in the washtub as I sat like a ragdoll. While he was scrubbing my back he started to hum some tune I didn’t know. It was a cheery sounding thing, and suddenly I felt the strangest urge to cry again.

                Because despite the horror I just experienced only moments before, I felt normal.


	10. Me, Myself, and I

Isn’t it strange, how a Lion is considered one of the most majestic creatures on earth? I mean, when you think about it, a lion is basically a symbol of man’s power. Sure they roar, and they fight over their women and there can really only be one alpha in the pack. Yet, it’s not really the lions that are all that powerful. Lions actually sleep all day, and the only fighting they do mainly is with other Lions. If you want some real hardcore, scary, majesty; you should look at the lionesses.

Lionesses do all the hunting, lionesses also take care of 2-4 cubs (and those are the ones that are their own, lionesses also watch other lionesses’ cubs too). Lionesses don’t fight for the beta position, don’t fight to be the King’s queen it is sensed. It is sensed who is the stronger lioness by who gives birth to more cubs, by who brings in more meat, and they are chosen by the so called “King of the Jungle” to be the beta.

I wonder if lionesses get jealous, if they want to be the queen. I wonder if maybe Lionesses just want to be left alone, just want to hunt in peace but the Lion’s sex craze keeps them all together in a forced pack seeming like it’s the only way to survive. I wonder if the Lionesses know that they can disband and find a new pack any time they want because it would take a whole pack of lions to take down a Lioness.

I am not a Lioness. My friend used to call me a Hyena, but that’s only because I used to laugh hysterically all the time. Whether I was happy, nervous, anxious, excited, or genuinely amused I would be laughing. I haven’t laughed since the day I was brought here. So no longer am I a hyena either. The way Loki looks at me, the way Loki is devouring every piece of who I am I would say I am more like the antelope that the Lion is just toying with until he finally gets bored and finishes off the poor creature.  
And I wonder what it must feel like, after all the pain and suffrage, to finally be free. I wonder if I would be grateful.

These thoughts are not something Loki encourages. I keep myself busy by avoiding books about Earth and trying to read up on creatures of Asgard but every three eyed snake I see reminds me of the green in his eyes. Every fairy I read about reminds me of the trickery he used and every fucking sentence I read about the glory of Thor reminds me of how he had failed me.

I am not a Lioness. I am no longer my own person every thought in my head revolves around him I can’t even get into bed without hoping I wouldn’t wake him up on accident because I just want one night, one night that doesn’t end in my tears. The steady rhythm of bedsprings almost coincides with the thumping of my heart as if my body anticipates Loki’s thrusts. As if not only has my mind conformed to every wish and whim of the new King of Asgard but my body too betrays me in order to listen to its new master.

I wonder if he knew that this was how it would happen. That I would no longer dream about breaking his bones with my teeth but how his eyes light up when he sees me after an especially long day. If he knew that I no longer attempt to wear my hair down because it covers the love marks he made to show to the world but wear my hair up as if they are no longer battle scars but beauty marks. I wonder if he knew that the fire in my heart wouldn’t go out by his cruel words and unsympathetic blows but the way he will call my name desperately before releasing like I am the only thing tethering him to this world.

But wondering leads to my curiosity and Loki doesn’t like questions. It reminds me of my first job at a restaurant where I had no idea what to do or where anything was and every time I asked a question my manager would get annoyed like I should already know without asking. Eventually I stopped asking when I needed help, but I got fired anyway for not showing enough “initiative”.

Loki likes it when I read, he’ll curl my hair around his finger, sometimes he’ll ask me to read out loud to him. Either he has read all the books in the library, or he just doesn’t care that I’m in the middle of the chapter and enjoys the sound of my voice. Usually he’ll have his own book and we’ll sit together, me curled up in an overstuffed armchair, and him on a wooden chair with a green velvet cushion. When we do this it almost feels like a normal relationship. Once in a while he’ll look up from his book, and I’ll make eye contact and he’ll smile at me in a way that almost makes me forget everything he has done to me. Almost.

Today I was curled up under his arm, reading an Asgardian work of fiction, while Loki read some book about spells. He was absent mindedly rubbing my knee when suddenly his hand began to climb under my dress. Sensing what he wanted I opened my legs to make it easier for him, but continued to read. I wanted to at least finish my chapter. My book was abruptly ripped from my hands and Loki pulled me up so I was straddling him. Before I could protest he cut my off by shoving his face into mine, almost attacking my lips with his. I flinched against him, but let him devour my mouth.

I pulled away to breathe, and he sucked on my collar bone. “Loki,” I began breathlessly, “Loki don’t we have to go to dinner soon—“

“Shut up.” He demanded, pulling away so he could unlace my dress. I went silent immediately. Yet, a loud clanging on the door interrupted him once more. He growled, yet ignored it and continued his assault on me. The knocking persisted, eventually getting more loud and frantic.

“For Odin’s sake!” Loki hissed, he shoved me off of him and I landed on my tailbone painfully. He went to the door and I desperately attempted to tie my dress up again before whoever was on the outside could see me.

The person on the other side of the door continued to knock noisily until Loki opened it with a growl. I couldn’t see much from behind the sofa, I hesitantly stood and went to the side of the room, ignoring the stinging pain of my behind. I wasn’t sure where Loki would want me, so I guessed standing at the wall would be the least offensive.

“My lord! Thor has escaped with his midgaurdian other. They have reached the bifrost and are on Midguard as we speak!” Loki froze. My own heart stopped as I processed what he had just said.

Thor had-had escaped? From the little I knew of the predicament he had put me through, Thor had been imprisoned with his father and his-his girlfriend or whatever and that was why he had betrayed me by giving me up to Loki. But Loki still had the Allfather under some sort of sleep, why would Thor risk his father’s health for escape?

I felt a wave of loathing wash over me for the blonde God. He only thought of himself, and that was why I was here in the first place!

“How.” It wasn’t a question, Loki was so angry the word almost sent a chill through my heart. The man looked even more frightened than before, if that was even possible.

“We do not know sir, all we know is that he and Lady Jane—“

“Do not address that midguardian whore in such a manner!” Loki thundered. I took a fearful step back out of reflex even though his anger was not directed at me.

“My apologies, Liege. He and the…Midguardian were here for the delivery of breakfast, but disappeared during lunch. Four of the guards are knocked unconscious. The bifrost was activated only minutes ago, we have soldiers waiting to go after them—sir.”

Loki took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself. I stayed where I was, knowing by now that he wouldn’t hesitate to take any stress out on me.

“Try to keep this from the citizens, I do not want them rebelling or anything of the sort. If this gets out to a single Asgardian it will be on your head.” The guard nodded, as if this was some fair compromise. Loki ran a hand through his hair, “set up the guards outside of my door and outside the Allfather’s chambers. I want the rest of the soldiers out at the bifrost and I want Heimdall in my chambers now. You are dismissed.”

“One more thing Sire, we do not think it was Thor that assaulted the Guards.” Loki’s back stiffened, “from what we gather, it was Lady—er, the midguardian, your highness.” Loki took a step back.

“The midguardian whore? Why Miranda could beat that thing in a fight how did she get through three armed guards?” The guard was perplexed, he desperately searched for an answer like he was afraid Loki would kill him if he could not find one.

“It was a rhetorical question, you are dismissed and I want full details of any new evidence. And bring those guards to me once they are awoken!” The guard bowed his head and left the room hurriedly, looking glad to be dismissed.

Loki whirled around to me, since his back was to me I never had a glimpse of the anger on his face, I swallowed nervously as he stalked towards me. He reached out and I flinched, ready for the impact. But it never came.

Instead he pulled me to him and wrapped me in-in a hug? He took a huge breath through his nose then pulled back so he could smash his lips to mine tenderly. My hand fluttered around his torso, unsure what to make of the situation.

Finally he released me, yet smashed me to his chest yet again. “You are mine, do not forget it, kitten.” I nodded against him, it was hard to breathe with my face pressed up against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, and then pulled away only to grab my arm and drag me along with him outside of the room and through the halls.

“Now if I tell you to run, you need to run. If I tell you to hide, you hide, are we clear?”

“Yes, my lord.” I said breathlessly, it was hard to keep up with his long stride. And my ribs were still badly bruised from the night before; he hadn’t healed me last night like he usually does. I didn’t dare complain though, he had some reason for it anyway. Plus the only reason I was bruised was because I didn’t work hard enough to please him last night, which was my fault. I knew what to do, but I was more concerned with how tired I was than Loki’s pleasure.

He tugged me down several corridors, none of which I recognized from my few trips outside of his room. We only left for dinner about once a week in the actual dining room; usually we just ate in his chambers. But Loki had to hold banquets about every week and I was expected to be sitting next to him. I didn’t speak after the first time, and no male Asgardians were allowed within 10 seats of me.

I was curious to where we were going since Loki ordered guards outside of his chambers but I didn’t ask him where. He had a plan, it wasn’t my place to ask questions. We turned to the right and went through a thick cherry wood door. Inside it was even more decadent than Loki’s rooms. It had a more feminine tone to it, and a fire was actually crackling inside the fireplace, whereas Loki preferred his room slightly chilled.

A beautiful woman I had never seen before sat next to the fire, her nose buried in a book. Her thick brown hair was extravagantly braided and she wore a red satin dress. Even in her state of concentration she had an aura of regality and I wondered if I should bow or something. This woman was obviously royalty.

“Mother.” Loki’s voice caused her to look up at us. Loki was standing stiffer than usual, mother? He never called any of his family with this sort of familiarity, and judging by his stance on women I didn’t think he even had a mother. She pursed her lips at him, raising an eyebrow. Then she just went back to her book.

I was taken aback, no one blantantly ignored or disobeyed Loki like this before. I expected Loki to yell or hit her or something, instead he just looked sad.  
“Mother please, I need your help.” I had never heard him sound so lost or desperate.

“And who is that?” She asked without looking up, Loki looked over at me in surprise, as if he had forgotten I was even there.

“She is my companion, but this isn’t about her I need—“

“Son of mine, you do not need anything from me.” I had never heard words sound so cold before, Loki’s jaw clenched and he looked away.

“Mother, Thor has escaped.” His pride was injured, I could tell. This was all so strange and out of character. I half expected Loki to throw a table or something, but he was seemingly holding his calm exterior well in front of this woman.

She looked up at this, something sparking in her eye. “Is that so?”

“He will come for her.” I glanced over at Loki, he put his arm around my shoulders.

“And why should this be any of my concern? Judging by the scars you have caused her, she might be better off.” My eyes widened and I went cold, I readied myself for a full explosion but it never came.

Loki released me and walked calmly up to his mother. I clenched my fists, the woman put down her book and folded her hands in her lap. Loki bent to his knees in front of her, and startled me by simply placing his head in her lap.

“She is my everything.” He barely said above a whisper. I knew that he was talking about me, but it was still so alarming. I couldn’t possibly be this man’s everything, I barely thought of myself as his anything! The woman stood, letting Loki’s head lift on his own.

“I will be in my bedroom, since I am not your prisoner, I am allowed this.” She swept off to a different room and closed the door. Loki, still on his knees, placed his head in his hands. I shifted my weight nervously.

It was silent for a long time, until I surprised myself by saying, “I am your everything?” I put a hand to my throat, as if checking that the words had left my own mouth. Loki slowly looked up at me. He nodded absentmindedly and got to his feet.

“I think my mother helped them escape.” Loki said without looking at me. I frantically searched my brain for some kind of sign that I was supposed to answer, or maybe he was just musing? I didn’t want to displease him, especially at this moment when he was so close to snapping. I also thought about my own possible escape, If they left, maybe they were going to come back. Maybe with the rest of the Avengers to rescue me!

But that didn’t make much sense considering Thor had left his own father behind. If Thor could do that, why would he come back for Loki’s broken slut? I was of no use to them, and I was too vile for anybody to ever want me again.

No, this had to be another one of Loki’s tricks. He was testing my loyalty! Of course Thor could never escape, Loki was far too cunning for that. How would I be able to prove myself so Loki would let me back into reality?

Although the visit to his mother in this vision certainly made no sense at all. Usually the Avengers came right to my room when Loki put me in these visions. However, maybe that’s what he wanted me to think!

It was all so confusing, and I was scared that I had no idea if any of this was real or not. Loki had taken my hand and was leading me somewhere, muttering something under his breath. His back was stiff, as if he were waiting at any moment for someone to spring up and attack us as we hurried through the halls.

When we returned to his chambers six guards were waiting. They all looked frightened and I pitied them for being put in this place. I wondered how Loki gained their loyalty, or if he had done something to scare them further.

I waited for my hatred to blossom again, realizing yet again how horrible he was. But nothing. I was just sad that he had to go to such lengths to have a few guards. He never deserved to always be second to Thor, and here it was happening again.

It dawned on me that today Loki might die, or imprisoned. Loki pushed my silent form into a chair as I pondered what I felt about the prospect of him dying. Two weeks ago I would have gladly done the deed myself but now…

It was all so confusing. Especially since it may not matter and this would all be a vision anyway. I had no way of telling, until Loki decided to pull me out. I peered at him while he barked orders at the guards and then magically changed into his golden armor.

This had to be a vision. Maybe, if I showed Loki I was loyal to him, he would stop messing with my head all the time, which would really give me enough time to finally just think.

I knew about Stockholm Syndrome, and I worried that that was what was causing me to be so confused and having my feelings towards my own kidnapper to change. But I had to believe I was strong enough to keep a hold on my own mind. I had only been here for…

I paused, how long had I been here? All the nights and days just sort of melded into one, and being free only seemed like yesterday and a hundred years ago all in one. I bit my lip, thinking.

Down the hall I started to hear a commotion, and fear caused me to seize up. Loki turned from his place at the door to meet eyes with me, and I stared at him with wide eyes. It was coming. They were here.


	11. Blades as cold as Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been really constricting to me lately. I couldn't put off the end anymore, I'm really sorry.

Everything happened so fast after that. Loki backed from his place and stood in front of me in a defensive position. I saw one of the guards who had been on the other side of the doorway fly backwards and hit the wall out of my sight with a sickening crunch. I sucked in a breath and leapt to my feet, standing on my tiptoes so I could see better from behind Loki. He put his arm behind him, blocking me from leaving.

                “Don’t go anywhere.” He said sternly, this was a vision. It had to be. Loki would simply transport us somewhere else if it wasn’t. I smirked, hah! He thought he could trick me into thinking this was real. He thought that he would be able to use this as an excuse to punish me!

                No. I would prove my loyalty to him. As much as I possibly could, and then maybe he would let me go. I reached forward and grasped his hand in mine. He looked over his shoulder at me in surprise, I smiled at him. I heard the sounds of fighting outside even louder, then they walked through the doors. I straightened my spine, _just pull me into reality already, Loki._

                Was he really going to make me go further? I swallowed, even if this wasn’t reality, I didn’t want to betray the Avengers. I knew it was stupid, but even in a dream I didn’t want to see Natasha in pain. Especially because of me.

                I was taken aback by seeing them. Thor looked bruised and battered, Tony’s suit was sscratched up, but otherwise fine. Steve wasn’t wearing his helmet…thing, and Natasha had a cut on her forehead and a bruise on her chin. The other guy with the bow was present too, he was in my other dreams too. Clint?

                Despite the fact that this was all fake, I gasped at the sight of them. Loki let go of my hand, but didn’t step forward, I moved so I was next to him and not beside him. I didn’t know what to do. How should I prove myself? Refuse to go with them? Protect Loki? I was unsure, I just wanted it to be _over_.

                “Move away from her, Loki.” Natasha finally said after we all stared at one another. I swallowed nervously and looked at Loki, who was wearing his signature sneer.

                “And why should I do that?” He put and arm around me, and I saw all the Avengers automatically stiffen angrily. Usually by this point in the dreams they all would have fought and someone would be dead by now. This one was so much longer and different than the others. Maybe it was my final test!

                “I’ve had so much fun with her already, I don’t see the point of letting her go now.” He stroked my arm, and smirked at them. “Besides, she doesn’t even want to go, do you, Marissa?” I gulped, trying to remain calm.

                “I don’t.” I said quietly, I couldn’t stand the look on their faces. God, Loki just pull me out! I think that’s proof enough that I’m loyal. I heard him chuckle,

                “You see? Marissa and I will leave now, I think.” Steve narrowed his eyes,

                “And why would you think that? I think you’re at a bit of a disadvantage here, buddy.” Loki frowned at being called “buddy”.

                “Oh, come off of it. We all know you lot won’t try to hurt me when there’s a chance poor Marissa could be caught in the crossfire.” Tony’s gun rose,

                “I don’t know about that, pal. I got better aim on this than your middle aged mind could understand.” Loki scoffed,

                “Then why haven’t you shot me yet?” Natasha took a step forward, and Loki grabbed me and pulled me backwards with him. I let out a yelp of surprise and everyone froze immediately.

                “Do not take a step closer or I’ll slit her throat!” I gasped, horrified. I felt the cold blade he must have had on him and pressed it to my jugular. I started to cry in fear, the Hulk growled and Loki pressed it harder, causin a bead of blood appear. I whimpered.

                “My lor—“

                “ _Shut up_ ” he snarled in my ear. I whimpered again, the Avengers’ faces were scrunched up in fury. I didn’t know what to do, usually by now Loki pulled me out of the vision. Hadn’t I proved my loyalty? Why was he letting this play out for so long?

                _Maybe it **is**_ _real_ a voice whispered in the back of my mind. My breathing quickened, I cried harder, mentally torn.

                “Loki I know this isn’t real!” I said, he stiffened behind me and the Avengers looked confused. “Just pull me out, I’m loyal I swear!” Loki didn’t respond, Natasha was the first to speak.

                “Marissa, Marissa look at me. Try to stay calm.” Loki’s arm around my middle tightened, and he pulled me farther away from them. “Marissa, this is real.” I shook my head as much as the blade on my neck would allow.

                Alarms were ringing in my head, I didn’t know what to do. If Loki killed me, I’d wake up. Or, this was real and I’d just be dead. Although, this couldn’t be real because Loki loved me! _Did I love him?_ I threw that thought out immediately, not going down that road. I looked at Natasha pleadingly,

                “Loki there’s nowhere to go, let her go.” The bow guy said. Loki shook his head, I was so conflicted and confused. He took the knife off of me and I let out a sigh of relief.

                “Thor have your mother release her spell so Marissa and I can go. Or I’ll kill her.”

                “No he won’t.” We all looked up to see another figure enter the room. Frigga walked in, as regal as she was when he last saw her.

                “Mother.” Loki whispered, his grip on me slackened and I lost my balance and fell to the floor.

                Frigga had tears in her eyes, she nodded. I heard the blast of Tony’s gun and I screamed and jumped to my feet, whirling to see Loki take a step back, then fall to his knee.

                “Loki!” I screamed, I threw myself in front of him to block him from the quickly advancing Avengers. “Don’t go near him!” They all paused, all of them were in the offensive position. The hulk snorted and stomped, causing the whole room to shake.

                “Marissa, this is real. Let us end him.” Natasha said quietly, she took a tentative step forward. Faster than I could think I grabbed Loki’s blade and held it in front of me towards them threateningly. She raised her hands up, as if I was a wild animal.

                I felt like one too. Loki groaned from behind me, He tried to stand with one hand on his stomach. Keeping the knife in front of me I turned my head to check if he was alright.

                He looked bewildered. He looked like he had no idea who I was. I was so conflicted, every part of me was battling with another.

                “Is it real or fake?” My voice cracked as I asked him, I was a mess. My heart was beating so fast I felt like it would burst out of my chest. I wanted it to. I wanted all of this to be over.

                “Marissa,” he breathed. Another tear ran down my cheek, his eyes softened. That had started happening a lot lately. Instead of hard edges, he was softening towards me. His words use to slice into me, with every breath he made I would feel myself break a bit more. But lately he would smile more, and not just at me. At things I did, he would brush my hair away from my face in the morning. It was the first thing he did.

                Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Natasha start to move toward me. I whipped around before she could do anything.

                “Don’t come another step towards me” I warned fiercely. She shook her head,

                “Marissa, we’re here to help you. None of us will hurt you. This is real, everything is going to be okay.” She advanced slowly until she was a few feet away. Then she extended a hand out to me, fingers outstretched. A broken sob left my throat, I looked at Loki again.

                “Is it _real_?” I asked him, he was breathing heavily. He tried to stand again, but failed. He crumpled to the ground and I rushed to help him. Natasha took her chance and before I could blink had the knife out of my hand and my arms pinned behind me.

                “Don’t!” I screamed, I struggled in her grip. I’m not sure what I was trying to do, go to Loki? Just be free?

                Surprising us both I threw her from me, she landed a few feet away. All of us froze in shock. Clint notched an arrow,

                “No, wait!” Frigga shouted,

                “How did you do that?” Steve asked, I shook my head, staring at my hands in confusion.

                “I didn’t know I could.” I whispered, I looked at Loki, remembering how I had shown this strength before with him. He was looking at Frigga, anger and hurt in his eyes.

                “You.” He said. Frigga’s mouth twitched.

                “I gave her and Jane the power of strength so they may escape.” Loki shook his head. “What you have been doing is wrong, my son. And you must pay for what you have done.” Loki finally pulled himself to his feet, his hair wild and his eyes like fire.

                “You’ve never wanted anything for me. It’s always been about _him_.” He spat, Frigga shook her head, tears in her eyes.

                “You know that’s not true.”

                “Can someone tell me why we’re not shooting him?” Clint asked, I frowned at him and stepped in front of Loki again.

                “Marissa!” Tony said, sounding stern. “It’s time for you to back off.” I raised my chin,

                “No.”

                “Marissa,” Loki said softly behind me, I looked up at him. He reached up and touched my cheek, “this is real. All of it.” He brushed my tears aside.

                He was evil. He was twisted and sadistic and had caused me more pain than I had ever endured in my life. He was jealous and just horrible. He had _killed_ people.

                He had broken me into caring for him. I knew that, he had used my bad memories and my good ones and twisted them into something he could use. He toyed with me until I was a puppet on strings and could no longer move without him directing me.

                I looked at the rest of the people in the room, finally resting on Natasha. Her red hair framed her face in a halo. She extended a hand out to me, offering me the blade. I blinked, Loki’s hand dropped back to his side and I reached forward and took the blade.

                I looked back at Loki, and made the decision.

                _None of this real_.

                Then I turned and brought the blade down on Natasha.

 

 

                It didn’t actually connect though. There was a cry from Clint and a bow string being released, and Loki shouted and threw himself between me and Natasha and the rest of the Avengers.

                The arrow pierced through his green robes and stuck out of his stomach, right where Stark had shot him before. The blade fell from my fingers and fell with a metallic clatter to the stone floor. I fell to my knees beside Loki, my hands grabbing at him, cries tearing from my throat.

                “No, no! I’m so sorry, I thought it was fake. I thought it was a dream, I’m so sorry!” I put his head on my lap, Loki was turning blue and his skin was cool to the touch. He lifted a trembling hand and brushed the hair from my face, I leaned into his palm.

                “I wish I had met you sooner.” He whispered, the rest of the Avengers were silent. Clint had his bow lowered.             

                “I never-I never wanted you to die!” I pleaded. But it wasn’t true. There were times I would fantasize about his death. Fantasize about the rest of the Avengers coming to save me. But now, as his hand dropped back to the ground. I realized I never wanted to view this. Death is not justice. Not for me.

                “I never wanted you to die either.” And that was as sentimental as he got. Natasha pulled me away from him and I sobbed apologies into her. I promised her that I never wanted to hurt _her_ and she told me that none of it mattered.

 

 

                He didn’t actually die. If that’s what you’re all wondering. Frigga healed him and he was sent to the Asgardian prison, where no one but Thor visited him. The Avengers, minus the Hulk who was now Bruce escorted me back home. When they found out I actually had no home, my college had dismissed me after months of not showing up or answering any messages. They found out about my father, and Tony offered me a job at his company and I accepted.

                Natasha came and visited me often, and I told her that she was what kept me going through everything when I was with Loki. Thor apologized to me, telling me how Loki had had other Chitauri on Asgard and that they had his father. I forgave him, but I couldn’t ever make myself forget.

                I go to therapy two times a week. When I first returned I thought they’d stick me in a hospital. 24/7 Care. But Steve brought me to his apartment and basically let me curl into a ball on the couch and watch cartoons for 4 weeks. I couldn’t go into the bedroom.

                At first he tried to get me to go in, to sleep. But after I started screaming, he quickly realized that a bed was something I did _not_ need. Often I would think it was still a dream, a vision put on by Loki. Steve or Natasha were always around. They wouldn’t say anything, they would just comfort me until I calmed down and remembered reality.

                Tony found out about these pills that cause me to not have nightmares. I don’t know where he got them, but he and Bruce swore they were safe. And considering they were two of the most intelligent people alive today, I believed them.

                Frigga’s spell of strength eventually wore off. I found that out during some martial arts trainging with Clint. After a few months, I decided I wanted to know how to defend myself. Clint was the first to offer me one on one training. We discovered after a few weeks I couldn’t throw him across the room anymore and I was secretly glad.

                I never met Jane. I didn’t want to. She and Odin were the reason Thor tricked me into thinking I was pregnant and going back to Asgard. I knew it was unfair of me to blame her, but I couldn’t let myself care about that. After a year of living with Steve, I was ready to go work with Tony and get my life back on track. A year later Natasha kissed me for the first time and I felt my cracked interior glue itself back together just a little bit.

                I’ll never be whole. That’s for sure. But Natasha doesn’t mind, she too has gone through what I have and at night we whisper to each other the secrets of what we had to go through. We cry and hold one another and I tell her I love her and for the first time I really mean it.

                Loki had twisted me until I mistook my fear of him for love. He twisted himself until he thought his obsession and thirst of power was love.

                I will never be the same. But I’m okay with that. Because now I have a woman who not only over looks my scars, but understands them. I will never be like I was before, but I will be something better. Something new. And if Loki ever tries to escape again, he won’t come near me.

                No one will ever hurt me ever again. Because if none of my literal superhuman friends can’t save me, I sure can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh I suck so much I'm so sorry. THis literally is the worst thing I've written. But this story has been draining me so much and I just. Honestly I wanted her to be the one to kill Loki, but Marissa would never do this. Anyway, I know that most (if not all of you) are going to be upset with how this ended. But.... honestly she's been holding a torch for Natasha this whole time so. And also, like. Poor Marissa. This story sucked so much, but honestly thank you to everyone who supported me through it. It was more of a learning experience than anything, and I'm going to put a lot more work into my other story than this one. I don't like having a lot of chapters in my stories, and this one especially had to end. I just want to clarify, Marissa did not love Loki (she's gay anyway lols) but she was so mentally exhausted and unbalanced that she thought she was. I will never, EVER have a character love their rapist. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has supported me and my writing and I'm sorry this ending is so fucking disappointing. But honestly, this was how I wanted it to end for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment! Kudos! uh, whatever else you can do! Thanks for reading!


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